Covidivorce

It is 6 months and the coronavirus is still somewhere around us. the pandemic has taught us a lot of things and expose us to the fact of life. The Good the Bad and the Ugly. while some people enjoyed the best part of their life during pandemic being with family, some struggled for their bread and butter. Some got stuck up at someplace other than their home2.

In some places, there is still a lockdown and people are not able to travel around. One of the most impacted areas of COVID is Human Relationship especially the couples.COVID has affected the couple's relationship to the extent that there are comparatively higher divorce and separation issues.

Covidivorce the pandemic has tried the patience of people to the level that there has been reported a spike in cases of troubled marriages, divorces, enquiries, counselling. It is observed that the COVID-19 has impacted badly on the couple's relationship. The lockdown has tested the People's patience and people are discovering the new sides of their partner the unseen which they are not liking resulting into fixing the last nail in the coffin. COVID has been an eye-opener as well as a destructor in many cases.

In the metro cities where couple hardly found some time to spend with each other Quarantine gave them months to stay together resulting them exposing the side of the partner which they were not much aware of or say which they have never seen and did not appreciate.

It was easy for many relations who had already applied for divorce and were hanging by a thread during the pandemic the quarantine actually nailed it. Similar was the case of a newly married couple who got a lot of time exploring each other resulting, to spending a lot of time together. Newly married couples could conclude in a few days. Quarantine was as an eye-opener for many couples were in they felt like they are not appreciated by the better half. Simple things like helping each other, cooking for each other or just like watching a simple web series together was hard for some couples as they have different choices and were not ready to get along. This reluctance and being headstrong at the delicate issues were not appreciated by partners resulting in break up. 

The very important part of married life sex took toll off relations in many couples. Domestic violence had increased to the level that we have seen women approaching the police stations and filing the complaint. Staying together and juggling with work from home with no social life and spending hours together tested people's threshold for patience and tolerance with a lot of anxiety the lack of job security during the lockdown gave rise to various quarrels arguments fictions and domestic violence thus finally decided to separate. As we all know that the courts were not open but the couples had approached the counselling centres seeking some relief during this time. The number of divorced pleas has gone up much higher. 

The couples do not want to stay together. These all issues are the part of a married couples life but during the pandemic, as they had no social life it got exaggerated they have no options of venting it out.

Human being getting intolerant towards the relations and finding it difficult to adjust among themselves. this is something that we are observing throughout the world there are number of rising cases. In the past few months, we have seen over 45 Hollywood couples who have called off the relationship. Apart from what we all are going through globally, I think that the couple's mulling over a divorce should give some time to the relationship and not make any hasty decision. We all are going through a different phase of life which is stressful, but the only solution to this is being patient with each other.

Itna Sanatta kyun hain

Ganpati Bappa Morya - It was a busy day. Ganapati Bappa arrived today. Ganesh Utsav is one of the favourite celebrations of all aged groups irrespective of their religion. It is all about decoration, yummy modaks and laddus, fresh flowers, torans, rangoli, and lots of happiness around. Most enjoyable is the aarti time, when everybody oldies, as well as the kids, enjoy saying it, artharvashirsha and jayjaykaar.  

We were rushing doing preparations for a few weeks.  Ten days go busy with delicacies and compliments. The decoration concepts and ideas. Every year all ten days go busy and are surrounded by friends and relatives. We haven't invited any guests this year for Ganesh darshan.

Of course, there will be modaks but no visitors to taste. There will be decoration, aarti but no crowd around. This year it is not going to be louder as it is every year. It will be a bit simple but with the same spirit. Even the Ganpati at home is going to be simple than every year.

I guess Ganpati Bappa must also be feeling lonely saying to himself "Itna Sannata Kyun hain" but will agree on the government norms this year and give his darshan online.

The government gave guidelines for celebration this year. Many big mandals took a step forward for supporting the government’s decision. Some planned social activities instead of the big mandal followed by the crowd to celebrate and take Ganapati Bappa's blessings.

In metro cities, these festivals bring a lot of market movement and options for people to earn. For some, this is the only annual time to earn, like the Idol makers. This year many people have taken initiative to make their own eco-friendly idols. Workshops were taken and a lot of artists have learned the art of making idols.  Idol makers are sad due to a drop in the sale and prices. Next year onwards there would be only eco-friendly idols available in the market as well.

Thou markets were open the business has definitely suffered. People have compromised on the nonavailability of needful things for Ganesh puja. The prominent mandals have encouraged people to avoid visiting the pandals and opted for the online darshan.No matter how big the idol is every year,  this time everybody has agreed on idols not more than four feet and that too eco friendly. 

There are many options for eco-friendly Ganpati like tree Ganpati, red and black soil with natural colors. People have also opted for metal, the permanent idol which would be kept every year. Even many keep chocolate idol and further distribute the chocolates and sweets in an orphanage or children.

Its first time in 86 years that there will be no Lalbaug cha raja, instead they have taken up the blood and plasma donation drive. A similar initiative has been taken by Girgaon cha raja and Andheri cha raja as well.

Many did not travel to their home town and are not part of the celebrations. Things are different than they were ever, but will be soon as they need to be. 

The government has given good and clear instructions about the height of idol not more than four feet, no processions, artificial 70 immersion ponds made available in Mumbai. Not more than five karyakartas in pandals, ten during aarti, pandals to be sanitized thrice a day.NO prasad, no garlands, No flowers at the immersion ponds.

Thou it is an irony that the festival celebrated to bring people together stands to do exactly opposite today. It is a national emergency and we all should collectively contribute to being a responsible citizen so that next year we celebrate more natural and with high spirit.

May Ganpati bappa bless all of us with health and prosperity.

Life between BC & AC

We are the live creatures whose life suffered between Before Corona and After Corona. Now as it seems like we are on the road to exit the orbit of the corona effect we can conclude we have survived the pandemic.

We all have seen and heard what lockdown has led us to. It is been a memorable journey till date. Memorable in all ways, it made us feel fortunate and unfortunate at the same time. We have counted day with increasing pressures and trying to keep calm.

One day will come when we will be free to move around and life will seem like coming back on tracks, but the picture would be different than it was B.C.-before corona. The most vulnerable thing is the loss during this period, the lives that we have lost.

We have heard stories that happened on roads, in hospitals, behind the closed doors, and many more. All powers failed during this period. It was something we never thought of in the wildest dreams. Life seemed to be so unfortunate, but the only fortunate thing is we are still alive. The strongest countries could not stand in front of the pandemic. The USSA, Russia, China all countries were on their knees.

The most unfortunate thing is people have lost jobs and are wondering how to get back to normal, how to get the new opportunity ASAP. How to earn? Not only this, but there are also many things around that will haunt us. 

I can feel many thoughts surround my head like the chirping birds in a cartoon going round and round after banging.

A thirty-year-old son refusing the hospital's members to do his infected father’s funeral. The hospital officials carrying the packed bodies in plastic bags for the last rites. The bodies getting exchanges, misplaced. The extreme treatment given to patients, along with dead bodies lying next to their bed. People migrating to their home towns walking all the way across the state borders. Religious fights humiliating doctors and nurses at quarantine centers. The baby crying beside the dead mother's body. The child who covered all the way walking across borders dies at hardly one hour distance. A dead man who died of natural death was not touched by anyone for almost a day till the ambulance and the people in the PPE kit arrived. This unfortunate act was not limited to humans, even the pets were abandoned on the roads by the owners. The pregnant elephant killed in Kerala. Celebrities succumbed to depression committing suicide. Schools, colleges, institutes, offices all closed down. Everybody struggling to earn, trying their best to do jobs from home.  Around Six lakh people Succumbed to corona. Some brave hearts fought to it and came back to normal. Now the stage is even we who alive are immune to the extent that we may not even require the vaccine.

The worst part was people who were asked to resign in difficult times. Is it not the moral responsibility of these organizations to support individuals, their employees during this hard phase, which was not limited to them only but extended to the whole world? Human has gone to the extent of black marketing of the medicines which act as a savior for the people infected.

We have survived this pandemic to narrate the history like we have heard of plague some decades back. But what do we learn out of this? Does this pandemic change our thoughts? Does it bring all of us, everybody alive to the same level of humankind?

We have suffered more than the actual sufferers of the corona, watching it helplessly and understanding the value of life. The lives that we lost have opened our eyes to the very fact of life, basic needs, relations, work, family, care, concern. It made us collectively look like a country without caste, race, colour, gender.

Difficult time, the hard times in life help us recognize the people around us. Though it hurts and pains it is the most learning phase of life. The tough time does not last but tough people do. We have learned a lot during these four months. Hope we hold on to these memories life long to make us realize where we stand.

May be next year onwards we will narrate this as a story. We will be back to our jobs, traveling freely, visiting malls, gardens, birthday celebrations, marriages, and having fun. I hope the sneeze or cough may not bother to us A.C still it would hold your breath of a second to remind you these days.

We are the part of this historic pandemic and hope we pass on the learning to the next generations.

The silver lining of black cloud

It seems like a dream, everything completely closed across borders. We are not able to move out of the house, all streets went silent. Mumbai’s lifeline was also resting. It felt like Waqt tham gaya ho. No one had an idea of how things were going to be - how worst and how good? A small virus turned a crowded and noisy world into silence.

No power was working against it. People were helpless sitting at home. It seemed like the virus was engulfing humankind to end. The most brilliant animal was unable to find a solution and cause to it. Apart from the loss of life and disturbance in day to day life, Corona exposed us many facts of life  which we already knew but had no time for.

Virus taught us that size doesn’t matter to make an impact. Keep working towards your dreams and you will definitely get what you deserve. A microorganism which could not be seen with naked eyes, turned the world upside down irrespective of the power, caste, religion, skin colour. It made us equal on all criteria which we as a human being had invented.

The virus made us realize our worth, we keep running behind earning, for living an extravagant lifestyle. Whereas when everything closed down and we were left with few things at home and to our surprise we could manage easily living with them. Our basic needs are fulfilled to a realization –what were we running for? Tomorrow? And what if it never came for us? The virus made us realize what we actually need to live a happy life and stay content.

We were introduced to the real meaning of life and happiness which lies in our state of mind, happiness is to be with loved ones. It is not about external achievements, leisure, and luxuries.

We are always taught to save for the rainy days, and I guess this difficult time was that rainy day we had been saving for. Our saving saved us in hard times and made us realize how our ancestors had the vision towards life's hardships. So make an effort every day, to save a bit for difficult times.

The best part was we got an opportunity to peep in our own homely life. We always approached malls and other places in search of happiness and for celebrations, whereas it is very much within our four walls- Home sweet home.

It has given us an opportunity to stop and think, make a change in our lifestyle for betterment.

Women could manage without maids but provided they had those shoulders and hands to care for them, help them when needed. No women would have ever thought of working all alone for months like we did. But the virus actually made us understand our limits of working harder.

Children during all this phase were very adaptive than elders. They adjusted with playing within the house, making changes in way of studying at their age, wherein we found working from home difficult.

Homely food and flavors was the biggest asset of this period, we realized that we can actually survive without fast food. First time in history I believe there was continuous cooking for more than a hundred days or so.

Some of us got time after ages to hear the birds chirping, and spend time with nature. It made us realize what we have done to mother nature, and how it is healing itself now. Some must have seen a rainbow after years; some must have cooked for their parent’s wife or kids for the first time.

“What is this life full of care, we have no time to stand and stare”

Some newly blessed parents must have got all the best time they could ever spend with their kids due to pandemic.

The virus has brought to our knowledge that just worrying beyond a point is useless and we should find solace in the simple joys of life. We are taught that nothing stands important before family and the most important is to SLOW DOWN

Thou we are at home since moths, we are still productive and positive as well. People are very creative and more engaged than ever. Everyone is left with some lessons for a lifetime.

It has taught us the importance of relations, made us realize what is our need and how much we spend on it. It made us more independent and realistic. It taught us the values of life and moments. It taught us the importance of health, exercise, hygiene.

Corona thou was a virus, he taught us so much like a messenger at right time. It brought us together to enjoy life along with working. It bonded us back realizing and respecting each other when we worked from home. It gave us an opportunity to understand how our parents, wife, or husband works in the office or at home.

I hope now no husband when would return from work will ask his wife What did you do the whole day? women also wouldn't reply saying "It's very easy to pick the bag and leave for office".

Thou We do not welcome these hardships and difficult times, let me tell you whatever we have learned is always out of hardships and tough times only.

Aankhon ki gustakhiyan...

Being into the Human Resource field we were taught about "eyes" in body language sessions. It was quite interesting than we thought. 55 % of communication is non-verbal and facial expressions are the most common and nonverbal channels of communication, which is now lost. Eyes -They speak, they laugh, they smile, they are even scared and surprised. How so they smile - If you look carefully you can see the lines at the corner of eyes when one smiles.

Remember the films in 70’s like 'The Great Gambler' where the heroes flaunted their glasses while playing poker, well there is a reason behind those glasses- to hide your next move. Eyes reveal so much about you, that it is believed that ’Eyes are the window to the soul’. Lets see what an eye contact indicates

Ø Keeping eye contact with the person you are talking to indicates that you are listening actively.

Ø One can easily make out your mood if they look into your eyes.

Ø Direct eye contact is so powerful that it increases empathy and links together the emotional state of a person.

Ø Eyes do not lie and one can easily know what you are thinking or what you are up to.

Ø Police can easily make out that the person has something to hide if he/she avoids eye contact.

Ø Maintaining eye contact shows the person's confidence and dominance.

Ø And of course love at first sight, eyes are one who falls in love first then the heart….what say?

Why are we talking so much about eyes…..yes because that is the only facial expression we can see these days. This is going to be our new normal, wearing a mask is going to be daily activity as natural as we carry hanker chief or as wear watch.

Unable to understand the expressions - Thanks to Coronavirus, as of now in the world almost more than 50 countries, have made such masks mandatory to cover their face except for eyes.

People throughout the world are already going through a lot of stress and uncertainty due to the pandemic. As we are introduced to social distancing and now the Mask which is going to cover the entire face, except the eyes it's going to be a bit tougher.

I see people covering their chin with the mask trying to give clarity to their words which sound snuffed behind masks and also take a while to breathe in.

This is going to be most challenging for the deaf community and those with hearing problems, as they lose completely over facial expressions like lip reading, while that is the only lead for them to communicate. So we have solution, transparent masks are in market. On the other hand, it is going to be super easy for women in Saudi countries and Jain monks who actually cover their faces except for eyes no matter what.

Eyes are a reflection of a person’s thoughts, so when you smile wearing masks the person is going to see the smile in your eyes and of course reciprocate in same way. Eyes are going to be more active as most of the jobs will be done by them and more frequently than before.

One important fact about eyes is they don’t lie, come what may. You can easily see the reflection of persons feeling in his eyes. In some cases, you may really observe a friend who seems to be black-eyed but has turned brown. Time to discover your friend’s eyes colors this year. Its time for us to see in the eyes and through the eyes. 

It is going to bit challenging and restless at times but it is also time to get those calm Monalisa eyes that are staring at us for centuries.

 Do not forget to pick those designer masks.