Raising Self Sufficient Kids

I remember I was in school, and Mumma struggling to make me atmanirbhar - She had this vision decades back, which Modiji had some days back for us. Well, but the public doesn’t really understand, nor did I in that adolescence age.

She used to delegate small household jobs to me, which I straight away refused to do, in fact, Papa supported me by he doing it for me-Papa ki pari.

After years when I shifted to Pune for Job, the bubble popped off. I had to do everything all alone. I used to feel sad at times and suffered to some extent. We are pampered by parents but that sometimes takes a toll on us.  In fact after marriage for the very first time when I made Puran Poli my father in law was impressed and so happy that I have gifted a diamond nose pin -Pehli rasoi. I recalled the days when my mother used to make me understand how important it is to learn cooking.

The moral of the story is, are today’s mothers having the same vision our mothers had for us? Are they of the opinion to make us atmanirbhar like our mothers did?

Family structures have changed. Now families are small and couples believe in one kid only. Being the only kid, they are given everything and anything they want. I see parents doing everything for their kid Spoon feeding them. Kids are also getting smarter they know how to get things done from parents.

It is necessary to make children understand to be self-sufficient. We are living faster-paced life now and it is definitely a good thing to make your child independent at an early age.

My daughter is four years old I have a limited scope of being independent but I try and let her do her activities. It is just a realization and belonging she gets when she does some work on her own. So here is my experience with my four years old.

Give them a task they can accomplish

Start with simple day to day activities. Even at an early age, you can let your kid keep his toys in place. Remove shoes in the shoe rack, Keeps books in bookshelf, and clothes in the cupboard.

Never just end up saying clean the room, a child gets confused, if you tell them what exactly is to be done they do it

Important is to praise them, appreciate their way of doing it, as sometimes they may do it their way. Like keeping books on a shelf where they can reach easily, it is ok to accept the change. Your appreciation will definitely boost their confidence and self-esteem.

Let them decide

You can suggest but never tell them what they want, let them choose and decide. Give them the power to decide. For example like advising them to draw a picture, let them decide what they want to draw. Let them dress the way they want, let them choose the colors and patterns of clothes. They may fail at times but that is ok for them to realize. It is ok to fail to get a better choice. Do not limit them to choose, set them free. It makes them confident and gives them feeling like they are running their own life.

Small decisions like what to wear, which colors to be painted, which type of tree they want to draw, which game they want to play etc. These all are small decisions but that gives a good impact and makes them feel good and responsible.

Problem-solving skills

Always listen to kids, their issues and problems, let them know you are always there to listen. Do Not Suggest a solution to anything they are sharing with you, a simple line - Mumma I m bored, what do I do? Let them have choices and decide what they want to do. That’s important for brain development, it teaches them problem-solving and creativity.

Stop spoon-feeding them and let them make choices, think, imagine, and create. Let them come up with suggestions and answers; you can always give them clues.

Problem-solving skills are an important aspect of being an independent adult. It is an integral part of the personality.

If they come to you running due to the loss of the toy, do not help find it. Help them track their route how they played and track it.

Teach practical skills

Practical skills are preparing breakfasts, serving, or even unwrapping the foil where needed, opening the lids of tiffin, etc. Use of spoons, knife, etc. Now here I do not mean to handover the knife to your kid. You can always teach them to butter bread or apply jam on bread.

They can make their breakfast with cornflakes in milk. Let them how hot and cold food is to be served and even ate. Involve them in cooking like washing veggies and cleaning. Understanding the difference between ripe and raw fruits.

Involve them in grocery shopping to understand what we buy and what and how we cook. That develops an interest in cooking as well as eating. Let them help in the laundry. It is fun for them at times, but they are learning the art of cleaning.

Of course, doing such together is a bonding process as well. They watch you and are learning new skills.

Involve them with a small broom, a duster for their study table, and cycle as well. Let them keep records of the balance in a piggy bank.

They feel good about they are helping you and of course, you are satisfied as they understand things and develop the skills.

By getting involved in household activities they belonging to the house. They feel independent. They understand their responsibility and also they get a feeling of helping you out in work which makes them confident.

The idea is just to make the child self-sufficient by training him. Let them do things on their own, make decisions, and act accordingly. They will try, may fail but then learn the art. 

As they grow old it becomes a habit to be self-sufficient -atmanirbhar. 

This is to make them independent and of course, in difficult times it will help. You never know how time would test us. 

Wachal tar Vachal... Reading a Saviour

My mother always shares my memories of holding the pen in hand whole day wherever I go. I had that habit of noting down things as and when needed. No wonder I have always been writing and reading a lot. At times, I even keep the used newspaper, one which is used to cover shelves, if my eyeballs catch something new in it.

I actually used to tuck the pen in my dress as men do in their pockets. Further the pen went to my purse or bags along with small diary. Today when I see same habit in my daughter I try to encourage her to scribble with the pen. Thankfully she hasn’t scribbled my walls yet.

She draws some picture of a girl, every time its mom and sometimes when it had small beard like hairs on chin its baba. She writes alphabets and numbers on her book, imitating me when I write.

She is too small to read anything apart from her alphabets. I got some books for her and prepared a small child library. She very proudly shares mom, that’s my library.

I want to inculcate that reading habit in her and thus I keep trying different tricks, but to my realization that she is still four and identifies alphabets and numbers only. I hold back my urge to make her read.

I was sitting in my balcony accompanied by her besides me. Of course, I was reading out story to her. That’s the practice we follow whenever, she feels like listening or say demands for a story. We have been doing this as practice. When I was done with her reading and picked my novel, she went back to her book and started reading the bold letters on the cover page….F..A…I…R..Y  T..A..L..E..S….fairy tales, right mummy? And that’s the beginning she started reading anything in bold letters she found everywhere in the house. Names of biscuits, any wrapper she found, brand of television, refrigerator, movie names, clothes brands and bold names in newspapers.

One night I slept with the thought of buying new books for her as we are almost done reading all stories to her. I was also thinking how do I make her read books. We had serious discussion wherein my husband calmed me down saying she is small in a year or, so she will start reading, I should not worry and hurry as well. You can buy books online he said. And I slept with the happy thought of online book shopping.

Next morning my baby got up before me, while I was still in my bed she arranged few pillows to reach her library and got duckling book in her hand. She got it and sat near my pillow showing me the pictures and started reading…once an upon a time there lived a duck with her three little ducklings…….she couldn’t read, but she read the story the way she knew and recollected it, while she was turning pages……that was so cute. Her gesture made me so happy and content.

Moral of the story is, children copy you, imitate you in whatever you do. Be what you want your child to be.

In Marathi, we have saying “Wachal tar Vachal” reading saves. Here are some tricks I practiced making my child read.

· Introduce a funny reading game to your child by reading alternate lines. Making funny voices, act at times to develop their interest in it. Have some game of interest like who reads well, who reads faster etc.

· Bring books that are interesting at that age, where they can learn something new. That has catchy pictures as well.

· Never decide what they should read. Always give them choice. Let them learn to select and find their own interest. Expose them to various languages, authors and pictures and choose the best of their interest.

· Worshiping books will never bring goddess saraswati to your house. Let children find her when they turn the pages. Let them mark some points take notes, write new words. Introduce new words in their day to day vocabulary.

· Do not force child to read, make reading a pleasure for him. Convincing them to read would make it another task for them. Give them anything that interests them, some comic, some newspaper cutting, or just advertisements anything that they love to read,that will increase the interest and will be pleasure for them.

· Introduce games like searching words on the page of book. Teach Synonyms for some word or word puzzles for kids. Teach them use of one new word every day. Search for new words in newspaper or books.

· Create something like a book club with child and his friends, wherein they share their reading, the books and share the stories. Let them exchange their books and readings. Encourage them with the highest book reader. Peers are always motivating factor, and reading with friends will make the process exciting.

· The bookshelf for the kid should be handy. The child should be able to play with the book as and when he wants. Do not keep it high fearing the child may tear it.

· Create a cozy reading or writing corner for children. Add something like comfortable desk to read with lovely cushions and reading light. The ambience may excite the child and see that you keep the reading lights on at specific time, such that it becomes schedule.

· Keep variety of books to understand the child’s likes and dislikes of subjects. Encourage all type of reading.

· Keep the books handy at different locations as per their subject. Bedtime stories near bed, art and craft near play area cartoons stories in drawing room. Also keep a book for notes.

Prefer books than any gadget. It’s safe for eyes, it gives better understanding. Children feel comfortable with books than being anxious with gadgets. It may get tore but unless the child handles it, it won’t. Let the child handle it, see it, touch and feel the books to get that ownership.

Believe me it gives immense pleasure to see your child reading on his own.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Challenge online study

It’s the first-ever longest lockdown in India. While we are struggling to adjust to the changes coming our way, I feel like a juggler managing and balancing all the tasks, properties with equal attention. It’s the month of May and Academic New Year peeps around the corner. We do not yet have a clear idea of how it’s going to be. Central board schools have already started their webinars, video calls, etc. Some schools have started sending the videos to parents so that they get the task /studies completed from their children. Before we conclude if it’s a good way or a better way of studying, let us understand it’s the need of this hour. There is no other option left than online studies.

This is the system applied to all age groups starting from kinder garden to secondary classes. Incorporates we always practiced webinars and video conferencing but never thought it would be a method of child studies also. We always struggled to keep children away from the magnetic gadget life but seems we will have to stop now as that’s the only tool left. After cursing the invention of gadgets at times now we welcome it and hand over the same to kids.

This is going to be difficult, for students, as well as teachers. Both are used to study face to face or say in person, which cannot be replaced by any other method. Earlier the place was different like classes were conducted in open, which are conducted in closed shed premises called schools.  

Well, we already had some experience in online studies like the cd’s materials available online for various courses. Many new online learning and teaching platforms are available. That’s the boon for working professionals who wish to upgrade or learn as well as for them who would like to teach and share their knowledge. It’s also a new source of income.

Online study has its own advantage and disadvantages.

It is government norms for online education that a parent should be sitting along with the kids till class four. It will take time for children to get over and understand this new method of learning. Apart from education schools is all about friends and other activities like sports etc. The online study would be skipping this for the moment.

Some students are slow learners and take time to understand; at times they need special attention or repetitive explanation. Here parents would come in the picture to make the child understand the concept.

There would less or no more bunking.

Parents with two kids, attending online classes at the same time would be a problematic situation or unavailability of resources like gadget or network issue may be a hindrance in the flow of study. Continuity may also suffer.

I had a brief discussion on this with some of my friends, especially some who are teachers, tutors, and parents to understand their views and errors they are facing. If any of you are facing the problem mentioned in the above point, please talk to the schools or teachers they can provide you the link to the specific lecture, wherein you can review it for better understanding.

Teachers are also finding the system short as they are also used to connect with the children, the responses and the face reading would have limitations. Our teachers could easily make out if the student understood the concept or not by looking at their faces. There were chances of re explanation when taught face to face.

Also, did we realize that’s its much testing time for them, they know they are being watched by not only students but parents beside them? This makes their job more difficult. No matter how skilled a doctor you are conducting surgery on your loved one is always a challenge, it’s always a challenge if someone is judging you based on your performance.

The total onus of studies lies more on students than anyone else. Here we are talking about primary kids (Jkg to 4th), as working professionals or secondary kids can find it a bit easy.

We had everything earlier like some online apps like Vedanta, byju’s, but in order to keep our children away from gadgets, we never surfed them, now its time to know more about such sites.

I had earlier shared in one of my blogs (https://meshirish.blogspot.com/2020/05/children-and-internet-safety.html) about the care to be taken when your child is studying online where he has the chance to explore and know anything and everything.

We will have to be extra careful and take this mode of study in ease. Children may enjoy or just may get frustrated with the online studies as they do not move out meet their friends, share Tiffin’s, and have fun which they actually have in school. It will be our duty to make them understand the situation the world is going through.

This is a matter of a year or so, but accepting the challenge and making changes in lifestyle for betterment is a must. As change is the only constant…..

(A word of concern: We are not aware of the book stores have books as due to lockdown the print industry was also closed. Let us share our books with someone who is unable to reach out to the stores or is unable to buy them due to the unavailability of money. Use second-hand books)

SAHD stay at home dad

Stay at home moms is something we all know, but stay at home dads is someone you must have heard of, or may have someone around you. 

It's the biggest career moves one can make. Men are always looked upon as a masculine power who has to work hard and earn for the family.

This blog I am writing specially for those dads who have turned moms who have taken all the responsibilities of the motherhood. While, we are celebrating the Mother's Day we should also ensure that we celebrate those dads who have done all the part of mothers in their absence. I have seen many cases where fathers have proved to be good parent than mothers the way they take care of their child is really worth appreciating. These days bringing up of child is not only the responsibility of mother but it is equally balanced by the father. In some cases where fathers have come forward and understood the responsibility of the working mothers. Where they accept the challenge of staying at home or working from home this is probably seen in those cases mothers job is more challenging and demands more attention. Whereas in some cases it is more of just an empathy towards mothers. While we say that mothers are not leaving any stone unturned with respect to their demands of job and career, they are giving a tough to men,on the other hand men are also balancing the same by taking care of kids sharing the burden of parenthood just by being a stay-at-home dad.

We say that dads and mum collectively bring up the children, their way of teaching the child is different. When they both are involved in physical activities with child dad tries to make the child stronger than mothers tries to make the child more sensitive. Mothers and fathers parents children differently but that is the greatest benefit the child can have.

SAHD's are not homemakers but that is the choice they have made. They encourage the woman to give her hundred percent in her career and stay more oriented and focused on her responsibilities in office. Today handing over your baby to a Nanny is of a great risk and considering the increasing crime in case of children, having your better half at home to take care of your child is the biggest asset a woman can have.

Today's Lifestyle demands both the parents to be working or say earning, in such cases I would like to share an example of one of my colleagues who was working in a day shift and his wife was working in night shift it was quite easy for them to handle the child in the absence of other parent. And the child was happy to get the complete attention of each parent when around.

It's not easy to be a SAHD because society around has a different view of looking towards him, people may think that there is a lack of motivation, or he is in a job search. Our society till date fails to handle the fact that women are equally out in the market to earn like men and men can also choose to stay at home and manage single-handedly given an opportunity. 

Maternity is the biggest phase of women's life when she decides to give up on her career or to continue with the same giving up on her child upbringing. I believe SAHD have given the best gift they can give to their women by staying at home and taking care of the child leaving the mother to explore the opportunities rather than leaving her at home for the Postpartum depression.

SAHD does all every mother do for the child like taking the child to the park, having a play date,cooking for the child, taking care of the child, regular medical visits vaccines and check ups, dressing up the child to the best, attending the B-Day parties,school responsibilities of the child,attending the PTM's,eating habits basically all the responsibility that a mother does when she is at home. He does all the house chores the market,purchasing veggies and grocery managing the maids their duties and their salaries everything becomes a part of his life. 

To understand it better it is more like the movie ki and ka where a man takes care of the entire house home maker and woman is one bread earner.

Where we are celebrating the Mother's Day for all his duties that a mother do we should not forget this stay at home dads who are the best mum today.

Movies are the reflection of society we live in. Where some years back we always herd mother oriented songs in movies... Like tu  kitni  achhi  hian... Maa meri maa.In recent years we have movies like Akele him akele tum...oh I love you daddy and....... sabse acha kaun hian papa mere papa. 

So this mothers day do not forget to remember and cheer up for those dads who have chosen to stay back and be SAHD.... stay at home dad

Children and cyber safety

Hello friends, by now everybody must have got some schedules designed after experimenting for a month. Thirty days, in fact now more than thirty days is little too much time under one roof. Isn’t it? But did we realise that we/children are spending lot of time online than ever. Internet usage is up by 50% throughout the world.

We need to look at consequences of children been stuck to laptops, and phones just to stay connected, or learn or say entertain themselves. Please note they are at increasing risk. We are somewhere opening their roads to online harassment even sexual abuse.

Ultimately what we can conclude is this corona virus has created perfect situation for the online predators, crimes. Especially for children who are lonely and confused and unattended. How can we keep them safe as their life’s have shrinked to these small screens?

1. Open communication: Work on rules how long they can be online, while encourage their daily activities, try and find out who they are been engaged or busy with online. Also try some activities I mean practical’s to keep them away from screens. Ensure they move from their place and remain physically active. Help children express, by asking them questions about their feelings.

2. Try and keep children away from gadgets, bit difficult these days so we can schedule a no screen time. Discuss good hygiene practices. Make it more practical in day to day life practices. Telling stories, pretending or drawing can be some ways of making child comfortable and make them feel safe. Try and do house chores collectively and safely.

3. Use protection tools: Check the device your child uses has latest software and antivirus updated. See that the privacy settings are on. Use of webcams should be limited or just closed or covered when not in use. Establish rules for use of internet. Parental controls can minimize the risk for younger ones

4. If you have younger children see that you have safe search on Google, set up parental control. Increased online exposure has heightened risks for child safety. Discuss internet with children, to make them understand it in better way, what the appropriate behaviour looks like on such platforms like video chats.

5. Protect privacy: Watch what information your child is disclosing, especially the personal information. Teach your children to maintain privacy from strangers no matter how good and real they seem. See who are they connecting to? Of course watch on their online friends list.

6. Your child never needs to share his photograph, full name or other details online while they use any online learning resources. Use reliable resources for online games or studies. Be in touch with online children education facility .Parents groups or community groups can be a good idea to know about the Childs learning and support each other.

7. Observe your children for distress signs, such as becoming withdrawn, being secretive, depressed or just upset. Changes in their behaviour can be the signs or results of their online activities.

8. Be familiar with safeguarding or bullying policies-Harassment policies have the respective contacts or hotlines in emergency like in case of inappropriate content. Bullying or harassment at young age can be big hindrance in growth of the child. It can effect to the extent of spoiling the life of the child.

9. While we are trying to keep them active physically by exercise, also ensure they do some eye exercise to maintain health of eyes.

If we look around every child is fascinated with the gadgets, which has direct effect on their thought process and eyes. Due to lockdown now schools have taken up online studies and are teaching children doing advanced activities online .So officially we are forced with the online education system to handover the laptops or mobiles to children.
Finally how can I forget Tiktok....no words public is so crazy for this app. While it's made for fun,it has become everyday job for many.  Moreover children are exposed to the world for entertainment.

Educating them online, no wonder if not paid attention the generation can be most hurt generation in all sense due to loss of time and sources during lockdown and its consequence for entire year.
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Princess for the rescue

Cartoons have been unseparated parts of our childhood memories . I was big fan of Tales spin, Duck tales and Jungle Book. Me and my siblings never missed those on sundays because they came on Sundays only on doordarshan , and we had nothing called cable those days. So Sunday was funday and holiday.

We have variety of cartoon channels today. We can watch as and when we want. I still watch cartoons with my daughter, but miss those of my childhoodones. Today's cartoons do not interest me much, but I watch them to check the content so that I give my daughter exposure to appropriate things and language.

My daughter watches two cartoons, her favorite ones. One of them is Masha and the bear. The story revolves around a girl Masha, naughty, mischievous and one who wants to know and learn everything. Her fun out of her adventures,stories topics and understanding helps me understand  what these brains think or fantasies  about. I closely relate her to my daughter.

We have variety of cartoon channels today. We can watch as and when we want. I still watch cartoons with my daughter, but miss those of my childhoodones. Today's cartoons do not interest me much, but I watch them to check the content so that I give my daughter exposure to appropriate things and language.

My daughter watches two cartoons, her favorite ones. One of them is Masha and the bear. The story revolves around a girl Masha, naughty, mischievous and one who wants to know and learn everything. Her fun out of her adventures,stories topics and understanding helps me understand  what these brains think or fantasies  about. I closely relate her to my daughter.

One day my cute little princess was struggling to tie robe around her neck and jump saying  "Masha for the rescue". I asked her what is that, don’t jump you will get hurt. She said, Mom I am super women, I am on duty to rescue. I was bit surprised at her words. Do you want to be saved? Saved from what?i asked  'Anything mumma, I will come to rescue you. When dad is not around, you need not worry I am here to rescue you"

Masha a little girl who wants to be superwomen and the idea is helping someone, rather say saving someone from trouble, rescue anybody who needs help.Struggling for an opportunity, finally at the end of the day manages to rescue her friend bear. By the way 'rescue' is my daughters newly learned word so it has to be used at comfort. 
My daughter is four years old trying to understand the world through cartoon characters. I am happy stories are changing from a delicate princess waiting for her knight in shining armor to save her to a brave girl who can help herself. She is ready to roll her sleeve and rescue anyone who needs help.Here she feels she is as strong as her dad rather more than him, as she talking times gives him. Offer to be saved.
I guess our roles are changing and I am happy they are changing at such young age. With this thought process of hers she made me realise  how I am growing up my little princess.

The Best part is she doesn’t see her ever at that place where one needs help.I hope we all make our daughters that strong and capable physically  and mentally as well. We need to make them independent, economically independent, mentally independent.
I don't know what would take them to be wonderwomen,a superwomen but yes we can definitely  try and make them capable and independent of their thoughts and values. 

Managing Covid19 impact on children

Changes are certain but difficult to accept for each one of us, children are most likely to be affected more if not addressed in time.
Today's scenario is very scary for us, but equally new for children, for them it's just police around you can't meet anyone, you can't touch anyone, no handshaking, no going out, all malls shop's closed. Everybody at home, no garden, no friends. Elders in repeated serious discussions, news channels on, masks on faces.
Mummy what is corona?? Where is it? Why it is not going?? When can we go to grandpa n granny? My four-year-old daughter keeps asking. It’s more than a month we are at home. Initially, for some days she didn't notice much, as both of us and my husband are at home. But now after a month, she is a bit restless and of opinion to go out, go to the garden and play with her friends.
Children get easily affected by their surroundings. As this health crisis unfolds we need to attend children more for their emotional well-being. As children see a fear, worry, and uncertainties around them they feel low and insecure. They can show a high risk of emotional stability and disruptive behavior or maybe irritated at small things around; they may seek more attention and act accordingly to get some. Eating and sleeping disorders can be seen along with disturbing behavior.

We need to observe them and be empathetic towards them. Ensure your support and care and see to it that they acknowledge it. See that they can feel your concern and can share their thoughts with you. They may share directly or indirectly, but as an elder, we need to make them believe in us and our care, love, and support towards them.

Social distancing should be strictly followed but ensure its not social isolation for children. Children need quality time, especially with their loved ones. They have their friends, maybe school friends, neighbors, and family members like grandparents who they need to see, talk and play. While you make them understand social distancing ensure they do not miss these people from their life.
My daughter is very fond of her grandparents and due to pandemic situations, they are caught up at Indore. We ensure she speaks to them on video chats at her comfort as and when she wants, and for any longer time, she feels. We also connect her to her friends once in a day.

Avoid holding information from children as they feel more stressed. Make yourself available to them and try to answer their questions. If they can access books, or websites even advertisements on television in commercial breaks. These days we see the handwashing that is hand hygiene breaks on various channels, let children watch and understand it. Avoid constant negative discussions and watching the news in front of children.

We need to see that we reassure them about their safety and safety of their loved ones. Follow the fixed routine, that is their daily meals, bedtime, playtime so that they feel all is well and as it was earlier. Regulation is a must. We should ensure children’s self-regulation. i.e. Engage them in various activities that help them self regulate. Following regular activities like exercise, meditation, sleep, meals, play.

It’s very essential for children’s physical and emotional well-being, to ensure family or elders can meet their basic needs.
Keep children busy, when they get bored they may reflect disruptive behavior. Give them creative activities where they can put their mind and soul and forget the panic situation around i.e. like clay molds, painting, drawing, crafts. Let them help in household activities to keep themselves busy.

Let them know their simple acts will save them from problematic situations like maintaining hygiene, washing hands, using masks, having healthy food, like fruits, veggies. Let them control the situation their way then, and then they will feel they have the control and can take care of the situation. Let them help in household activities if they are interested.

If the children feel insecure and there is emotional breakdown due to activities around in society, they can even be treated by sharing positive stories happening around them.

Last but important seek professional help if the child shows signs of trauma. If the child shows different patterns like sleepless nights followed by nightmares, increased aggression, or self-harm and it doesn’t get resolved by support look for professional help. There are telehealth therapies that can be done over a phone call or video chat.

We will have to be at peace and maintain it in our house until the lockdown is called off. Also, see that you do not make your child addicted to unwanted gadgets or habits. Attend them and see that you satisfy their questions out of what they are observing around.

This is definitely a passing phase, and we will soon be out of it. But there are always learnings. It's not going to be very easy or normal even if the lockdown is called off. So let's prepare for it. Our mental well-being is equally important as physical fitness.

Shaping the generation next

Schools have taken up online education, children have become more gadget-savvy and for those whose schools haven't yet parented are referring to next year's syllabus and making children study.

It's the month of April and May summer vacations. I remember we used to have fun all these two months. There was the provision of camp in those days also but very few and for a short time as well. Nowadays summer camps long for months, it is almost other academic courses for children. Children learn many more things like sports, art, gymnastic dance during these two months.

Due to lock down we are unable to send children out so there are online options available.

My idea of writing this blog is what are we teaching our children, how are we grooming the next generation. Our job is not only to send children to camp but also to see what are the additions in the content, what are we looking forward to. What is the quality that we are seeking in for our children? How do we want our children to be? To look like?

Are they going to be cultural, philosophical mythological heroes, No, it is difficult.

According to the concept of Hindu tradition which represents four ashrams the stages of human life.

Here I am talking about the stage brahmacharya ashram. It is a Vedic ashram system. I hope you recollect that it was about the learning phase of children when they were sending to Vana i.e. Forest to their teacher guru's ashram. Children were handed over to their gurus to bring out the best in them. It is difficult to follow the system, but what about the teachings, the content.

I had been to Sandhipani ashram this January. It is a place where Krishna Balram and Sudama studied. Here they were taught all together 64 skills to master the art of living. Let's have a glimpse at a few of them. Apart from singing, painting, dancing, playing musical instruments they were also taught to Cover the bed with a bedsheet, Needlework, and weaving, playing with thread, Carpentry, Testing silver and gold, combing hair, talking with fingers, prediction of heavenly voice, making garlands, understanding animal and birds movement, poetry, medical, perfume making and healing with perfume, aromatics, flower decorations, cooking, palmistry and many more. Here the trained students were the prince of the different provinces as well as poor as Sudama. The idea was to make children self-dependent, thou they had so many sevaks, the domestic help at their service. The teachings were basically the values of humanity.

The idea is this all made them 'Swavalambi'

Self-sufficient, self-dependent. Are we training our children for a few of these? Are our children self-dependent can they serve food for themselves, can they stitch their clothes if needed? Do they have a good knowledge at least on birds and animals around, just names? Do they pick up their plates after their food? What are we teaching them, who we want them to be?

My concern is just to make children self-sufficient, good enough to take care of their life. Once they master a skill or art their confidence will be high with reduced dependency in them, to face no matter what situation comes.

Let's have some Vedic teachings from ashram at home, to shape our next generation at the best we can.

We are developing but in this case, we are going in opposite directions. We are choosing out of all, why choose to explore all possible knowledge and important is believe in gender equality, teach your child may it be girl or boy. Prepare both of them for challenges.

My concern is just to make children self-sufficient, good enough to take care of their life. Once they master a skill or art their confidence will be high with reduced dependency in them, to face no matter what situation comes.

Happy Akshaya Tritiya 

Parenting #2 Confidence boosting

My daughter's first performance in school brought tears to my eyes. I believe it happens with every parent. It is a memorable moment for everyone to see their child performing. 

Children have their own interests and it's our duty to encourage them in whichever field they perform, or they would like to explore. We should try and expose them to every possible field so see what interests them. 

Let us see how we can encourage them, or say how we can build their confidence.

1. Children should feel secure about your presence. They should realize is that no matter what happens you as a parent are always with them. It gives them a sense of security and boosts confidence.

2. Always address your child with their name. Let him have the ownership of the name, have an identity. ensure they know the meaning of their name. Further to the meaning they definitely try and be like their name. 

3. Give them a task that is possible for them. Let them lead and guide you. To your surprise, they may perform best out of it.

4. Always involve children if there is some discussion and decisions are to be taken in the house or in the family. .let them put forth their thoughts. Appreciate their way of thinking. 

5. Give them undivided attention. Avoid entertaining any phone calls or any person except its urgency. Let them relax and speak their heart out.

4. Always talk positively about your surroundings, friends, family in front of them. Let them overhear you talking positively about them. Avoid negative talks or complaints. 

5. Encourage them to develop new skills, appreciate their art or skills by hanging it on the walls or displaying it. Create a wall of fame. 

6. Never compare them with other kids or siblings. Let them know they are unique and can have their own liking and interests.

7. If they face failure, let them know it's their wrong method or wrong choice not who they are.  Encouraging them to try again. Let them know failures are the first step to success. 

8. Watch on their companies, ensure they have good friends, positive people around. 

9. Hug them on their achievements, hold them on failures, always love them.

10. Give them small goals and help them achieve it, guide them on way to success.

You standing besides gives them the power  to face the world, stand tall, stand along. Let them fly in the clouds of challenges. They will definitely make you proud. 

Positive parenting

Today a friend of mine inquired about how I manage my four-year daughter. Does she ask for mobile. How do I keep her busy. And many more questions. I thought of writing about positive parenting.parents are feeling it challenging to control their children in holidays
It's probably first opportunity for many of us to stay with family and kids for such long duration. Many parents being working have not seen their child grow and realized the magic in these few days. Our commitments to our profession has taken us far away from this fabulous experience of child growth.
Let us take this as an opportunity and get along, live that part of life which we have missed.
My husband is lawyer in Mumbai, he travels by train and has no fixed schedule. He travels at any time of day and night. Sometimes he leaves before she wakes up and returns after  she sleeps. We have missed many celebrations and occasions at times due to his schedule, but we plan and make up-to it as and when possible.
The nature of his profession keeps him busy for weekends too. We both try to keep time slots for our daughter during the day so that she feels attended. Giving attention  to child is very important  these days as they feel neglected or start seeking atentionby Various  ways.  When ever possible me and my daughter go to drop and pick him up from the railway station, so that it gives her some time with her dad. That's my way of keeping them connected.
This phase of staying at home has given us more time to spend with her and believe me it's 15 days for her and 8 days for us, but we are not at all bored. We are loving staying back at home.
There are cases wherein parents as well as children  are actually finding it difficult to get along as we  were not prepared  for pandemic.Here positive  parenting comes into Picture.it definitely  helps to get along as well as helps to maintain the discipline  and love hand in hand.
Positive parenting is technique where you try to get along with children at their comfort. Here are some tips.

*Your child learns from the example you set.they are your reflection so try to be the one you want to see. Apple doesn't fall apart from the tree. So set a good example.
*Appreciate your child for his good deeds. Hug him make him feel loved and encourage him. Appreciate him with words like amazing, you make us proud, bravo, go on, fantastic, keep good work.
*Set simple rules. Explain the rules along with consequences. Do not enforce consistently, try and do it step by step.
*Do not use violence. Discipline the child fairly and firmly. Make him understand, explain him. Violence will increase the distance between you.
*Show respect to his feelings appreciate his ideas.encourage him to think more. Value his inputs.
*Spend time with your child. Book slot for him no matter how busy, tensed you are. Chat with him for hours at least once during the day.
*Keep yourself update on happenings around him, keep information on his friends and schools
*Keep daily learning as a MUST rule, apart from school. Update his general knowledge. Share some values some information with him.
*Include reading as daily task. Anything newspaper, books, stories.
*Have some eye to eye conversation of their interest.
*Ensure his physical activity daily along with good food and sound sleep.
*Accept their failures at times and encourage them to start again. 

This will definitely bond children with parents. Be more of their friends and try to be of their age. It is believed children need eight touches during the day to feel connected with the parent.their behavior is their communication, understand their stage of development.
Let them know they are unique, you are always there for them no matter what.