Aankhon ki gustakhiyan...

Being into the Human Resource field we were taught about "eyes" in body language sessions. It was quite interesting than we thought. 55 % of communication is non-verbal and facial expressions are the most common and nonverbal channels of communication, which is now lost. Eyes -They speak, they laugh, they smile, they are even scared and surprised. How so they smile - If you look carefully you can see the lines at the corner of eyes when one smiles.

Remember the films in 70’s like 'The Great Gambler' where the heroes flaunted their glasses while playing poker, well there is a reason behind those glasses- to hide your next move. Eyes reveal so much about you, that it is believed that ’Eyes are the window to the soul’. Lets see what an eye contact indicates

Ø Keeping eye contact with the person you are talking to indicates that you are listening actively.

Ø One can easily make out your mood if they look into your eyes.

Ø Direct eye contact is so powerful that it increases empathy and links together the emotional state of a person.

Ø Eyes do not lie and one can easily know what you are thinking or what you are up to.

Ø Police can easily make out that the person has something to hide if he/she avoids eye contact.

Ø Maintaining eye contact shows the person's confidence and dominance.

Ø And of course love at first sight, eyes are one who falls in love first then the heart….what say?

Why are we talking so much about eyes…..yes because that is the only facial expression we can see these days. This is going to be our new normal, wearing a mask is going to be daily activity as natural as we carry hanker chief or as wear watch.

Unable to understand the expressions - Thanks to Coronavirus, as of now in the world almost more than 50 countries, have made such masks mandatory to cover their face except for eyes.

People throughout the world are already going through a lot of stress and uncertainty due to the pandemic. As we are introduced to social distancing and now the Mask which is going to cover the entire face, except the eyes it's going to be a bit tougher.

I see people covering their chin with the mask trying to give clarity to their words which sound snuffed behind masks and also take a while to breathe in.

This is going to be most challenging for the deaf community and those with hearing problems, as they lose completely over facial expressions like lip reading, while that is the only lead for them to communicate. So we have solution, transparent masks are in market. On the other hand, it is going to be super easy for women in Saudi countries and Jain monks who actually cover their faces except for eyes no matter what.

Eyes are a reflection of a person’s thoughts, so when you smile wearing masks the person is going to see the smile in your eyes and of course reciprocate in same way. Eyes are going to be more active as most of the jobs will be done by them and more frequently than before.

One important fact about eyes is they don’t lie, come what may. You can easily see the reflection of persons feeling in his eyes. In some cases, you may really observe a friend who seems to be black-eyed but has turned brown. Time to discover your friend’s eyes colors this year. Its time for us to see in the eyes and through the eyes. 

It is going to bit challenging and restless at times but it is also time to get those calm Monalisa eyes that are staring at us for centuries.

 Do not forget to pick those designer masks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Critic - My Well wisher

We often come across a situation where we feel hurt for ourselves out of some random conversation or else get hurt on feedback given by a friend. Of Course, a negative feedback. And now you are thinking of the unseen horns and excused grown nails of your friend that hurt you. You picture them as critic and feel lost. You are hurt for the feedback and feel low. It is not at times about the feedback which is expected it Is about who gave it that matters. You feel like you friend stabbed you in the back and you tend to carry that stab along with you lifelong.

I am talking about the misunderstanding and the ego fights among the loved ones or friends. We tend to hold very flowery and goody image of a friend we hold a rough and hurting image of a critic.   

Putting some light on it lets us see how the critic helps us improve or show better performance. How important is to have a critic in life?  Every friend should be a critic to make you understand where you stand. We have often seen in movies that the best of friends get away from each other due to some ego issues or silly issues. We watch it till end thinking why do people never sit across the table and just speak about. Why carry those silly egos and fights. We come easily for opinion for others to overcome. Being a critic is easy art obtained by many of us. You can just shake it off like a hairy fluffy doggy, ignore the haters, try and prove them wrong or welcome your critic along, to direct you. It would be less rattling if we were surrounded by cheerleaders and encouragers isn’t it?

But too often your biggest critic is someone you love, you share every part of bit, someone you are closer to. If you come up with an exclusive idea of your next venture and you are told about all the negatives possibilities, limitations and terrible outcomes and hundreds of reasons for not doing it. Does that put you off??

Your critic can be your biggest asset

1.     Your critic will find all the faults in your plans, probably he /she could see something, think something that you cannot see. That gives you a different insight. They may sound like fault finding but believe that are actual loopholes.

2.     Sometimes hearing other people speak gives your thought an ignite, and   courage to speak.

3.     Your critic may help you approach you had not thought of, which your future customer may voice up.

4.     Your critic wants you to be just you, do not get it twisted thinking he /she is just about negativity for you. As that would bring the best of you.

Critics are not essentially, bad you need one who can show you the worst possibilities and overcome obstacles. It is better to have a genuine critic   than having a foolish friend.

We have a saying Marathi “Nindakache ghar asave shejari”. Which means you should have a critic neighbour. The famous appraisal system in the organisation is not only about salary rise but Feedback from your critic, you boss, and who actually helps you to grow. You may immediately not feel very happy about the feedback but in long term you will realise, most things you have learned in life are  in hard times, having critics around.  

So let the critic be…..and grow.