Feminist father

What was your take away from the movie ’Tappad’ the unnoticed  domestic violence a lady faces in her so called happy family. Could you relate to yourself somewhere, or thought that you really understood her feelings?

Well I noticed how her dad, who supported her in the entire struggle. It was heart warming to see the father supporting his daughter than making her understand how simple it was if her husband hurt her or slapped her. Some things are just to be ignored, isn’t it? That is what we are taught. The best dialogue that won my heart was “hum log to strong log hain na beta’here him is father and his daughter. The dialogue  describes the strong relationship.

Even today it’s not easy to be feminist father in the society. Fathers are always directed to keep daughters in control. We are still in society wherein daughters are looked upon as a property and father or brothers are safeguarding it till they are handed over to other family.

The feminist father is one who encourages their kids to learn more than studies and make them understand that there is no substitute to hard work. There are no prices to be paid and no apologies to be made to achieve success. 

In tappad where she was into arrange marriage, and had somewhere found household responsibilities more important than her dreams. Thou, she settled on her role limited to house core activities, like many of us have ,did you note that she has the talent within her which she polished every day.  Classical dance that she taught to her neighbours daughter. She on the threshold of motherhood, when woke up to violence by her husband,a slap. Her explanation to a lawyer it’s just a thappad is worth understanding than watching.

I am associated with many women groups in person or online, wherein I found strange reaction by women relating to movies subject. Some women bluntly and blindly said it was over exaggerated, it was just a slap. This ‘just a slap’ is justified in the movie.

My father gave me all the comforts he gave to my brother. The best gift he gave me was my name that doesn’t identify my gender. I was and I am no where less than a son to him. He never stopped me from wearing any type of clothes like sleeveless, in fact he was one who bought me my first jeans and my first sleeveless. My father is traditional but not conservative.Today the way he treats my sister in law and supports her as and when needed, proves him to be feminist father.

I studied in coeducation school, system where girls and boys study together. This was first step to equality.we never discussed this, we had friends as everybody around had. 

It’s not easy to have feminist dad even today. Remember the movie Bareily ki barfi where dad easily accepts his daughter who smokes, is not virgin, earns and wants to marry someone who would accept her the way she is. The way her father consoles her when a boy rejects her is appreciable. One more unforgettable dad, from a movie ‘PIKU’. Who is so proud of her daughter who is independent and smart enough to take care of herself. Even is upfront when he shares his daughter is not virgin. The bonding shown is the worth. The point is accepting your daughter like your son, equally.

Today urban fathers are more vocal and letting their daughter make a choice and educate themselves. They refuse to take the local social criticism. Fathers are the first hero to kids; they want to be like him. Girls they look forward for their father’s image in their husband. Best part about feminist fathers is they not only treat their daughters well, but also ensure they do not leave any stone unturned to make their sons understand about equality.

If you want to be one, you should teach your son do household activities like cleaning utensils and daughters to fix the bulb at times. Teaching children division of labour is unrealistic idea. Balanced individual needs exposure to all duties at early age, rather than sticking to their gender.
Being feminism is an ideology and is not limited for daughters only, one has to be generous to wife's, sister's  and every women round. The role is justified in movie tappad where  at the end Neeta Gupta is handed over her harmonium reflects her husband's  ideology wherein unknowingly she gave it away for family well-being. 

Every molester or rapist was once a small child, this is exactly where the fathers can step in to seek a chance to be feminist father. Here is the important role of good parenting, where you need to teach your kids about gender equality.

I always branded myself as father’s daughter and today I am proud to say I grew up to understand and respect equality, feminism and humanism just because of my father.