Vadhu pariksha

While the world is still battling against corona, some trying to invent the vaccine, mothers and children collective struggling with online studies, some populations busy working from home, she feels frustrated and pressured by parents, society, and relatives. Along with work at home she is also struggling to make her parents understand about her inability to find the right guy. Lock down seems had made no difference in society pressures for getting married.

Remembering my part of struggle I console her, saying right guy will come across only when you meet wrong ones first.Picture abhi  baki  hain  doston... Happz endingzz :)
She is around 30 and her parents think it's high time, and she should opt to get married without finding flaws in next guy who they would approach. In all this one of the impossible things is to get off the nagging relatives. Marriage is inseparable part of our society, we attend wedding, want to see others getting married and inspire our kids to get married. Thou I believe the theory that pairs are made somewhere in heaven, I wonder how much chaos we do for it by hitting on wrong alliances torturing oneself.

With this increasing social empowerment of women I don't know how relevant all the systems of getting married is. I wonder how girls today perceive marriage as, and what's the idea of good marriage for them.
In India, we have strange reasons to get hitched. While I discussed with my friends on this remembering our struggling days for getting married we came up new concepts of why one should marry?

1. Sab karte hian beta.
2. How will you survive alone you need a partner
3. See your best friend got married has kids also.
4. Daughters can't always stay with parents. Paraya dhan concept!
5. You are born to nurture next generation
6. Young brides look prettier than older ones

Above this was the vadhu pariksha, girl draped in a beautiful saree with pallu covering her head, is asked to sit in front of the alliance and his family and answer their questions. For those who haven't faced this may find it annoying but that's the way it happens.

Classic questions shared by some of my friends

1. Can you stitch? the girl holds master’s degree in mathematics.
2. Could you show your hand and feet, just walk along? She was a doctor.
3. What will you cook if their no food left and some guest arrives. She was MBA.
4. What is to be applied first haldi or kumkum. She was science graduate.
5. What was Shivaji Maharaj's full name? She was in her graduation last year.

Thou at times I agree marriages should be done in right age, so you have kids in time, and they grow up by the time you get old. But what if someone is so practical of thinking of having no kids. Thought process has changed women doesn't want to give birth and I don't find any flaws in this too. It's individual life and the way want to  live life. Basically In India even today girls live the life their parents, elders choose for them. We as women are given all rights equal to men like right to study right to career but at some point we fall apart, and we fall so low, in these men dominated society. While I console my cousin to get married as her parents wish her to,  I also encourage het to express and not to compromise due to society pressures. Making statements like you have darker skin, you are too healthy, too skinny have nothing to do with getting a right life partner. Such comments should be ignored. When we toss anything in air it goes upside down before it falls in right place, whenever you feel life is going upside down be rest assured that you are falling in right place. Do not get disheartened by the pressures and the changed role your parents play.
It is so much of the formality that I have seen love marriages following same procedure of vadhu pariksha and even live in couples had to go through  the same. Does that make sense. To add on my part I was asked to remove my pics wearing a turban  for cultural event  from FB,also my  Two degrees for which I studied hard thru out  the year were removed from my bio data...Nagging relatives....and stressed father. Education  also acted as an hindrance and I actually did not appear for CS exam. No sympathies I did it for I agreed  with my parents thoughts that time. Marriage was important.
Rather than adjusting or compromising on alliance take time to find the right person in your life. There is no solution to that being vocal about it, share your views with your parents, it going to be difficult for them to understand, but they will.

Many girls must be going through this lockdown pressure but please do not run away that the fact of life face it, every girl goes through this in different way, you choose your way. Thou I have shared girls experiences here boys also go through similar but different pressure. Lockdown must have caught them too to live with the pressures of getting hitched.

Breath in breathe out.... Speak out and share.

To add upon... Kisi cheez ko agar sache dil se chaho  toh puri  kayanat usay tumse  milane mian  jut  jati  hain.... So think  of the best.