Love the person you have found

I was going thru some of my writeups collections, came across one which sounds very interesting and needs of this hour. The topic sounded so relevant so thought of reading. Here is the summary-

During a seminar, a woman asked how do I know I am with the right person?

The person conducting the seminar saw that there was a big man sitting next to her, he asked “Is that Your Partner? She answered ‘Yes’ how do you know?

The person smiled and said, let me answer your question. Every relationship has a cycle - in the beginning, you fall in love with your partner. The feeling of butterflies in the stomach. You long for their calls, their touch. You need not do anything the action itself says you just FALL. It is a natural and spontaneous reaction. 

Imagine you are standing doing nothing and something happens to you, people say I was swept off my feet. Try and picture the emotion. Well by now, you enjoy their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. After a few months or years of togetherness, the euphoria of love fades. This happens with every relation, it is a natural cycle.

Slowly but surely the phone calls become disturbances, of course, if they come at all. Touch is not welcome always, and your spouse idiosyncrasies instead of feeling cute feel like driving you nuts. Well, the symptoms may vary but there is a drastic and dramatic difference between the initial stage and now when you are the duller or angry stage. 

At such point, you or your partner may ponder if you are with an aright person? As you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once felt, you may begin to desire for the same, but maybe with someone else. Here is the first crack in the relationship. 

You must have heard the success of a relationship doesn't lie in finding the right person, it more about learning to love the person you have found. Partners blame each other for the failure of their relationship and their unhappiness and thus look outside for fulfillment of their desires. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is very common in such relationships. 

Sometimes people do turn to their work, hobbies friendship or just excessive addiction to particular things may be drugs, television, mobile apps.

But the fact that the answer to this dilemma is not outside the relationship it lies within the relationship is not discovered. 

The current situation is idle, you can go outside go inside. 

Falling in love is natural, and falling again becomes more spontaneous and obvious. You will feel good - temporarily. But after a few years, you will be back in square one, the same situation.

So learn to Love the person you found. Sustaining love may be difficult as you will have to work on it every day. It will take time, energy, and individual efforts and most importantly it demands wisdom. You need to know what to do to make it work. And mind it, it is a lifetime activity you will be involved in. The moment you leave it or step back you are again in the same dilemma.

Love is not a mystery. As there are physical laws of the universe, there are also laws of relationship.

You need to know to apply these laws, then the results are predictable. And So Love is a decision.

We have increased cases of abuse and violence behind the closed doors. We may not feel it, see it but everybody around who is caught in the lockdown and its effects, with no regular office, our routines are getting frustrated. Women are somewhere below the heaps of the online studies, broken screens and laptops, and husband food and other carvings. Being in family court for some years I have seen sweet homes break like the cards houses, in fraction of the seconds, just due to silly issues.

Men are frustrated sitting at home with no work and no income. They are trying to help in house chores but are feeling uneasy day by day to do it as a regular job.

This all frustration is leading to internals voices screaming, yelling out at each other. This blog is especially for couples who always wanted to be with each other but are done by the end of these four months. Please hold on, what we can assure each other is just breathe in breathe out “this time will also go”