Positive parenting

Today a friend of mine inquired about how I manage my four-year daughter. Does she ask for mobile. How do I keep her busy. And many more questions. I thought of writing about positive parenting.parents are feeling it challenging to control their children in holidays
It's probably first opportunity for many of us to stay with family and kids for such long duration. Many parents being working have not seen their child grow and realized the magic in these few days. Our commitments to our profession has taken us far away from this fabulous experience of child growth.
Let us take this as an opportunity and get along, live that part of life which we have missed.
My husband is lawyer in Mumbai, he travels by train and has no fixed schedule. He travels at any time of day and night. Sometimes he leaves before she wakes up and returns after  she sleeps. We have missed many celebrations and occasions at times due to his schedule, but we plan and make up-to it as and when possible.
The nature of his profession keeps him busy for weekends too. We both try to keep time slots for our daughter during the day so that she feels attended. Giving attention  to child is very important  these days as they feel neglected or start seeking atentionby Various  ways.  When ever possible me and my daughter go to drop and pick him up from the railway station, so that it gives her some time with her dad. That's my way of keeping them connected.
This phase of staying at home has given us more time to spend with her and believe me it's 15 days for her and 8 days for us, but we are not at all bored. We are loving staying back at home.
There are cases wherein parents as well as children  are actually finding it difficult to get along as we  were not prepared  for pandemic.Here positive  parenting comes into Picture.it definitely  helps to get along as well as helps to maintain the discipline  and love hand in hand.
Positive parenting is technique where you try to get along with children at their comfort. Here are some tips.

*Your child learns from the example you set.they are your reflection so try to be the one you want to see. Apple doesn't fall apart from the tree. So set a good example.
*Appreciate your child for his good deeds. Hug him make him feel loved and encourage him. Appreciate him with words like amazing, you make us proud, bravo, go on, fantastic, keep good work.
*Set simple rules. Explain the rules along with consequences. Do not enforce consistently, try and do it step by step.
*Do not use violence. Discipline the child fairly and firmly. Make him understand, explain him. Violence will increase the distance between you.
*Show respect to his feelings appreciate his ideas.encourage him to think more. Value his inputs.
*Spend time with your child. Book slot for him no matter how busy, tensed you are. Chat with him for hours at least once during the day.
*Keep yourself update on happenings around him, keep information on his friends and schools
*Keep daily learning as a MUST rule, apart from school. Update his general knowledge. Share some values some information with him.
*Include reading as daily task. Anything newspaper, books, stories.
*Have some eye to eye conversation of their interest.
*Ensure his physical activity daily along with good food and sound sleep.
*Accept their failures at times and encourage them to start again. 

This will definitely bond children with parents. Be more of their friends and try to be of their age. It is believed children need eight touches during the day to feel connected with the parent.their behavior is their communication, understand their stage of development.
Let them know they are unique, you are always there for them no matter what.

Capital punishment

Finally, the rapist are hanged.... Were we waiting for this capital punishment execution, or we want such brutal Mentality to be killed. Do we have anything to do with these four individuals. This was just one case which hyped on national level due to heinous way crime was done, and the punishment the accused deserved for this act. Hats off to the mother who consistently followed the judiciary for seven years for justice, i don't know how many mothers would have done this. The accused advocate tried his level best to save his clients within his possible limits, but finally lost humanity by questioning victims character....back to basics Mr lawyer... basic human rights.

This is now an example a case study for law students and judiciary but will this prevail the fear of judiciary or law in the society or the wrong doers?

But after hearing to the Adv AP Singh's mother, wherein she expressed her concern for the accused mothers, and her simple understanding of punishment that they should have been life imprisoned, and death was not the right punishment for them but for their families, made me THINK. Actually the one who got capital punishment was free from the pain and agony but his family members wife, parents and children are the one who are going to suffer. She in very simple words compared all mothers and shared there is no difference in motherly feelings for their child. So either of the mother was going to be in pain was going to suffer.


Going back to what Advocate Singh statement do women need to rethink about their friendly behaviour with their friends, colleagues,about the clothes they wear, should they take care of their simple friendship gestures which should not be interpreted like lured signals to men, should they should return home within time ...before dark.

7 chya AAT Gharat.......is this what Mr advocate meant.

Let us brainstorm,Who needs to change? Women? Men? Women are liberated and grown enough.They are out of the four walls exploring  the world, not only world but space too.  They started with ghunghat and ended with backless tops, bikinis and shorts.

Let us talk about men liberation, are they still on same pedestal??NO they are also liberated today men are Chiefs, they cook, they take care of kids, they work from home, so that their wives can attend office. Some even are homemakers remember KI and KA?

With all this chaos and hype of such criminal acts in society public immediately starts with respect women,lets teach our sons to respect other gender as human too bla bla bla. But on the other hand men are also going through similar situation in some part of world. Who is to be taught and hold responsible for this, where can we make necessary changes or rather say corrections, I guess generation next. How to train them and percolate  this values of being more human towards other genders.

Your child is going to be your reflection, they will reflect your thoughts and bringing  up, so let's inculcate everything within us first,which we expect our next generation to follow, to do and not to do.Lets begin with empathy rather than sympathy.

Finally, it's more about uncivilized people, a general lesson was required to be taught to this so called brutal, cruel mentality which  existed and I guess law managed to do it by giving capital  punishment. But the question is will the wrong doer THINK about this before he commits another crime. What can stop him, capital punishment or his families suffering.

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Can lock down be mandatory ..... THINK

I think the government should impose this lockdown as a regular practice maybe quarterly or six months in the beginning and then follow it as a ritual on a maybe monthly basis. There will be many IF's and BUT's heavy terms like economic crises will drop in and many more will.

But guys did you see at the positive side pollution decrease, nature also needs it's time to recover from the damage we have created with all our inventions.
Home-cooked food has taken over Swiggy Zomato n others.people have forgotten that's disaster management thing and not an everyday ritual.
Papa and momma spending time with little ones at home.ludos, snakes and ladders, carrom, storybooks, drawing, coloring everything has taken over the video games, cartoons, mobiles, and other gadgets.
Isn't this how we have grown up. let's find some time and give those values to our kids in these 21 days.

Friends came up sharing their stories saying it was their first Memorable holiday that too at home since their marriage as the last couple of days were shut down.

We can design our life like this, the government may or may not impose this lockdown after this as its an epidemic, a crisis. But can we plan a day in three months, six months? A day without gadgets, laptops, video games, no going out, at your comfort, as your home sweet home.

THINK

Opportunity to increase emotional distancing

It's a very crucial period for all of us to stay at home for 21 days. This period may increase if the purpose is not solved, but the way people are using their opportunity as a right seems this period may definitely increase.we need to completely maintain social distancing.

Let us take this as an opportunity to increase the emotional distancing. We have a couple of tools to connect to our near and dear ones. You may find it difficult to stay away from your loved ones, your child may be missing their friends.why not try these gadgets positively. I have always kept my daughter away from mobile, YouTube videos.but today I take this as an opportunity to connect. She is four years old and misses her grandparents and friends. we make video calls to her grandparents every day wherein she shares all her activities and speaks in her comfort.
Also, we call her best friend including our neighbor so that she doesn't miss her.

This is an opportunity to connect to long-distance friends. In today's busy life we do not get time to call and above all this, we also do not make efforts, birthdays are wished on the watts app, videos, and pics are shared. But believe me, it's a different feeling to get connected on a video call.

Try an call your school friends, call someone whose wedding you couldn't attend. Speak to your grandparents or elders to see how happy they feel. Call everybody who was part of your life before you entered this profession and a busy world of deadlines and responsibilities.

Just do not think twice, give a call to say you feel, you care and you miss.