Covidivorce

It is 6 months and the coronavirus is still somewhere around us. the pandemic has taught us a lot of things and expose us to the fact of life. The Good the Bad and the Ugly. while some people enjoyed the best part of their life during pandemic being with family, some struggled for their bread and butter. Some got stuck up at someplace other than their home2.

In some places, there is still a lockdown and people are not able to travel around. One of the most impacted areas of COVID is Human Relationship especially the couples.COVID has affected the couple's relationship to the extent that there are comparatively higher divorce and separation issues.

Covidivorce the pandemic has tried the patience of people to the level that there has been reported a spike in cases of troubled marriages, divorces, enquiries, counselling. It is observed that the COVID-19 has impacted badly on the couple's relationship. The lockdown has tested the People's patience and people are discovering the new sides of their partner the unseen which they are not liking resulting into fixing the last nail in the coffin. COVID has been an eye-opener as well as a destructor in many cases.

In the metro cities where couple hardly found some time to spend with each other Quarantine gave them months to stay together resulting them exposing the side of the partner which they were not much aware of or say which they have never seen and did not appreciate.

It was easy for many relations who had already applied for divorce and were hanging by a thread during the pandemic the quarantine actually nailed it. Similar was the case of a newly married couple who got a lot of time exploring each other resulting, to spending a lot of time together. Newly married couples could conclude in a few days. Quarantine was as an eye-opener for many couples were in they felt like they are not appreciated by the better half. Simple things like helping each other, cooking for each other or just like watching a simple web series together was hard for some couples as they have different choices and were not ready to get along. This reluctance and being headstrong at the delicate issues were not appreciated by partners resulting in break up. 

The very important part of married life sex took toll off relations in many couples. Domestic violence had increased to the level that we have seen women approaching the police stations and filing the complaint. Staying together and juggling with work from home with no social life and spending hours together tested people's threshold for patience and tolerance with a lot of anxiety the lack of job security during the lockdown gave rise to various quarrels arguments fictions and domestic violence thus finally decided to separate. As we all know that the courts were not open but the couples had approached the counselling centres seeking some relief during this time. The number of divorced pleas has gone up much higher. 

The couples do not want to stay together. These all issues are the part of a married couples life but during the pandemic, as they had no social life it got exaggerated they have no options of venting it out.

Human being getting intolerant towards the relations and finding it difficult to adjust among themselves. this is something that we are observing throughout the world there are number of rising cases. In the past few months, we have seen over 45 Hollywood couples who have called off the relationship. Apart from what we all are going through globally, I think that the couple's mulling over a divorce should give some time to the relationship and not make any hasty decision. We all are going through a different phase of life which is stressful, but the only solution to this is being patient with each other.

Gurudakshina the invention of gold tree

Today we all are celebrating Teachers day. Everybody's status reflects so, even the naughtiest one in schools. Guru dakshina reminds me of Dronacharya,Parshuram and great sages.

I came across a very interesting story about Gurudakshina.

Raghav -The King somewhere in North India was believed to be one of the strongest kings of that times.He  was a great warrior and had won many states around his kingdom, extending to todays Pakisthan,Nepal and so on. Raghav- the ancestor of Lord Rama  wasn't only a good warrior but was known for his kindness. He would perform an yagya everytime he wins the war and gave away his alms to the people who ever approach.He was well known Suryawanshi and  known for his act of  kindness as well.

An old and poor kid Koustheya who wanted to learn and his guru was ready to teach accepting the fact that he would not be able to give him any gurudakshina.His teacher taught him best and once he completed his studies,Kaustheya asked his teacher what shall he give him as gurudakshina? His teacher tol dhim that he was aware that Koustheya is poor and would not be able to give him anything.Still Koustheya insisted and at some point his Guru got angry and out of anger he asked for Ten Lakh golds coins. 

Now Koustheya was puzzled as to how will he get them,He had no option. but then he has to give gurudakshina,as on his insisting his guru has asked for it.

Koustheya started his journey as he left the Gurus Ashram. He travelled down the thick forest thinking how he could get those 10 lakh gold coins. he was thinking whom can he approach so that he can get the coins. Suddenly he thought of King Raghu the only hope he had as King Raghu was known for his kindness.

he decided to approach King Raghu and share his problem with him. when he reached the kingdom gives of there was a Yagya being held by King Raghu that was the right time to approach as he knew that Raghu gives away all his alms after he wins the war. he approached the king and ask him to share 10 lakh gold coins to him as a Guru Dakshina to his teacher. Raghu had already given up all the alms and had nothing with him. he shared with Koustheiya that he has already been done with the donation part and has nothing left with him. but he would definitely love to help him.

He asked Koustheiya to wait for some days till he gets those10 lakh gold coins . Kaoustheya are believed Raghu. Here, Raghu was puzzled as 10 lakh gold coins was a big amount and none other than Kubera would be having it. there was no chance that Kuber would give him those coins on his request so he decided to have a war with him finally he approached with his Army to kubera's Kingdom.

Kuber had many spies around his country and boundaries, in no time he got an information that you had come down with his Army near the boundary of his country to attack him. he also came to know that the war was it is that of his wish to help Kaustheya. Kuber new Raghu was a very good Warrior and had a good Army if at all they have a war he would have lost. hence he decided to help Raghu with 10 lakh gold coins Raghu was resting under a Shami tree, Kuber with a magic spell around on the Shami tree made the leaves of gold. When you woke up in the morning he saw the tree of gold he understood that was Kubera who has tried to help him and now there was no reason for war Raghu happily asked his Army to collect 10 lakh gold coins from the Shami tree.

let me tell you Shami Tree at a very important role in the history of our culture remember when Pandavas went for agyatvas they had hide all their weapons on the Shami tree. Raghu handed over 10 lakh gold coins to Kaustheya. Costa was happy he received the 10 lakh gold coins and gave his Guru Dakshina to his teacher.

The Guru accepted the Guru Dakshina and blessed Kaustheya for good life and prosperity. he distributed the gold coins among the poor and needy. this is the same day that we celebrate as Dussehra where we distribute gold and considered very auspicious on this day one who cannot donate actual gold donates leaves as gold. letter on the same day Rama is believed to have defeated Ravana and the 10th day of this month came to be known as Vijaya Dashmi today people all over the country celebrate Vijaya Dashmi on this day the tree leaves are kept in a box and distributed to friends and relatives people touching the feet of their elders and say please accept this leaves and bless us so that we prosper in our lives

Oh!! Womaniya

Dear friends,

Today's topic of my blog is my book, Oh!! Womaniya.

By now you all must be aware that I have recently published  book on amazon. Talking about the subject of book, please do not go by the name, as its not about a women but the different phases of women's life. We have same few phases applicable to men also. 

The book revolves around those phases and how women deals with them. It is a story we all have been through, still it's different for all. It's about the people around us like parents, husband, children, friends and lost women. 

The book acts as an entertainer and guide.It helps you look at life.No were you will feel sad about being a women intact you will be celebrating  the womanhood. 

It is not only for women but it also helps men to understand the women. The stories mentioned  come so easy that you can relate to them.

The book is based on all true stories. While we talk about today's women we also peep into the historical characters. 

The book is published on amazon and has good response so far. Apart from India it is published in various countries in both hard copy that is papaerback  and e-book format. We will soon be having the hard-copy in India considering the fact that we all still love holding the book in hand to read rather than going the e-way ( I am one of them) 

https://www.amazon.in/dp/B08G4MQ9K1/ref=cm_sw_r_wa_apa_dw8oFbT9T6TMH

I am also happy to announce the sequel to be published may be in next month. Thank you so much for all your love and response to my first book and I hope I get more of your eyes to read my stories. 

Thank you

ओ वुमनिया

आजचा विषय आहे माझं पुस्तक एव्हाना तुम्हाला सगळ्यांना कळलं असेल की मी एक पुस्तक प्रकाशित केलं आहे.

करोना काळामध्ये सर्वोत्तम उपाय होता तो ई बुक्स चा कारण लॉक डाऊन मुळे  लोकं वस्तूंना हात लावायला वस्तू मागवायला घाबरत होते. मग विचार केला की चला इ बुक पब्लिष करुयात ,कारण लोकं डाऊन मुळे मोबाईलचा जास्त उपयोग  करत आहेत .त्यामुळे त्यांना काही अडचण येणार नाही ई-बुक वाचण्यात.

 आता पुस्तकाबद्दल बोलूयात पुस्तकाचं नाव ओ वुमनिया. नावावरूनच  अंदाज येतो याचा विषय स्त्री हा असावा.    पण याचा विषय स्त्री नसून स्त्रीच्या  आयुष्यातील वेगवेगळ्या टप्पे आणि तिला आलेले त्यातले अनुभव  असा आहे.

 आता हे अनुभव म्हणजे सगळे अनुभव, यात चांगले आणि वाईट. तिनं तिच्या आयुष्यात बजावलेल्या वेगवेगळ्या भूमिका जसे की आई बहीण मुलगी मैत्रीण, व्यवसाय करणारी स्त्री आणि तिची तारेवरची कसरत आणि महत्त्वाचं म्हणजे हे सगळे नमूद केलेले अनुभव हे खरे असून तुमच्या माझ्या आयुष्यात घडले आहेत. पण पुस्तकात मांडताना ते एका वेगळ्या पद्धतीने मांडले गेले त्याच्यामुळे आपला त्याच्याकडे बघण्याचा दृष्टीकोण  बदलतो.

गरीब असो वा श्रीमंत हुशार असो वा मठ्ठ व्यावसायिक असो किंवा घरी बसणारी आई असो एका पातळीवर आल्यानंतर आपण सगळे सारख्याच असतो मग अगदी एखाद्या व्यावसायिक असो किंवा घरामध्ये धुणीभांडी करणारी बाई असो तिच्या मनात येणारी ती अपराधाची भावना सारखेच असते.

 कुठल्याही स्त्रीचा आयुष्य तिच्या आई-वडिलांशिवाय तिच्या नवऱ्या शिवाय, मुलांशिवाय भावा बहिणी शिवाय  अपूर्ण असतं. म्हणून या पुस्तकामध्ये तिच्या कर्तुत्वान नवरा,कायम पाठीशी उभे राहणारे वडील आई कुठे काय करते असा म्हणणारी मुलं आणि एकमेकांची समजूत काढणाऱ्या मैत्रिणी सगळ्यांचा उल्लेख आहे.

महत्त्वाचं म्हणजे हे पुस्तक वाचल्यानंतर तुम्हाला कुठेही  स्त्री ही अबला आहे अशी भावना न येता आयुष्य कसं मजेशीर जगते याचा अनुभव येतो.

 या पुस्तकामध्ये जिथे आपण आजच्या तारेवरची कसरत करणाऱ्या व्यवसायिक  महिलेची गोष्ट वाचतो तिथेच आपण काही ऐतिहासिक  चारित्र्यावर सुद्धा चर्चा करतो. आपण तिच्या आईपणा विषयी  बोलतो तिच्या कर्तृत्वाविषयी बोलतो, तिला अनाहुतपणे येणाऱ्या अपराधी भावनेने बद्दल बोलतो.

महत्त्वाचं म्हणजे या पुस्तकात चर्चा केलेल्या विषयामुळे फक्त स्त्रियांनाच नाही तर पुरुषांनाही स्त्रीच्या मनाचा थोडासा अंदाज घेता येईल. कुठेतरी जेव्हा ती नाही म्हणते त्याचा अर्थ हो कसा असतो हे कदाचित पुरुषांना कळायला मदत होईल.

तिच्या आयुष्यात सगळे वाईट अनुभव येतात का काही काही अतिशय मजेशीर अनुभव तेही सत्य घटनांवर आधारित याच्या मध्ये नमूद करण्यात आलेले आहेत.

ओ वुमनिया चे पुस्तक ॲमेझॉन वर  उपलब्ध आहे. भारताबरोबर बाकी अन्य देशांमध्ये सुद्धा आहे उपलब्ध आहे.  पर्यावरणाचा मुद्दा लक्षात घेता मला ई-बुक प्रकाशित करणे जास्त योग्य वाटलं. पण आजही बऱ्याच लोकांना पुस्तक हातात घेऊन वाचल्याशिवाय वाचण्याची मजा येत नाही (मी ही त्यांच्यातील एक ), हे कळाल्यानंतर मी त्याच्या प्रिंट प्रति सुद्धा काढणार आहे.

 हा माझा पहिला प्रयत्न असून आपण हे वाचावे अशी आपल्याला नम्र विनंती. आणि पुस्तक वाचलं तर आपला अभिप्राय ऐकायला मला नक्कीच आवडेल.

 हे पुस्तक 18 तारखेला प्रकाशित झाला असून  पंधरा दिवसांमध्ये मला तुमचा खूप छान प्रतिसाद मिळाला आहे. वाचकांचा अभिप्राय आपल्याला ॲमेझॉन आणि किंडल वर पाहायला मिळतील.  

 भारताबाहेर देखील या पुस्तकाच्या दोन्ही म्हणजे प्रिंट आणि ई-बुक ला खूप छान प्रतिसाद आहे याचबरोबर खूप वाचकांनी मला याच्या मराठी अनुवादाची देखील मागणी केलेली आहे त्याच्यावर मी नक्की विचार करेन.

https://www.amazon.in/dp/B08G4MQ9K1/ref=cm_sw_r_wa_apa_dw8oFbT9T6TMH

याचबरोबर मला हेही तुम्हाला कळविण्यात अत्यंत आनंद होतो की या पुस्तकाचा सिक्वेल लवकरच म्हणजे पुढच्या महिन्यात प्रकाशित होईल. आपण दिलेल्या प्रतिसादाबद्दल मी आपली खूप आभारी आहे आशा करते की असाच प्रतिसाद मला माझ्या पुढच्या वाटचाली मध्ये सुद्धा लाभ होईल .

धन्यवाद

अनंतचतुर्दशी

उद्या अनंतचतुर्दशी 

आपला गणपती बाप्पा जाणार यावर्षीचा गणेशोत्सव दरवर्षीपेक्षा थोडासा वेगळा होता. उत्साह तोच होता,तीच रांगोळी,तेच हार फुले दुर्वा, तीच आरती आणि तोच  जय जय कार पण या साऱ्या बरोबर होतं ते एक अनामिक भय.

तसं अनामिक म्हणता येणार नाही कारण आपल्याला त्याचं नाव माहितीये - करोना. हे दहा दिवस गणपती आपल्या घरी येतो घरात एक वेगळीच  चहल पहल असते, सारे कुटुंबीय एकत्र येतात. अजूनही काही घरांमध्ये, मोठ्या घरात गणपती बसतो त्यामुळे जावा नंदा आजी-आजोबा सगळे एकत्र येतात.

यावर्षीचा गणेशोत्सव थोडासा सुनासुना गेला. कोणालाही घरी दर्शनाकरता बोलावता नाही आल, आणि कोणाच्याही घरी जातानाही आलं सोसायटीच्या गणपतीचे मंडळात सुद्धा शुकशुकाट होता. ओळखीचे चेहरे सुद्धा मास्क मागे लपलेले होते. सोसायटीचा गणेशोत्सव सुधा घरगुती पद्धतीने साजरा झाला यावर्षी. पण गणपती बाप्पा मात्र ऑन ड्युटी आहे तो त्याच्या वेळेवर आला आणि मला खात्री आहे प्रत्येकाने त्याला एकच मागणं मागितलं असणारे. एकच साकडे घातले असणारे

 सोसायटीच्या गणपतीचे विसर्जन सोसायटीच्या आवारामध्ये झाले यावर्षी त्याच्यामुळे काही धामधूम नाही काही सांस्कृतिक कार्यक्रम नाहीत काळी लगबग नाही. सगळे अगदी शांत होते मध्ये आणि एका हाताच्या अंतरावरच करण्यात आलं सोशल डिस्टंसिंग.

 पण गणपती बाप्पाचा येण्यानं कुठेतरी करोना चा विसर पडला. हार फुले दुर्वा आणि कापुराच्या सुवासा मध्ये हा करोना नष्ट झाला असावा का ?

वातावरण मंगलमय झाले, आणि गणपती बाप्पा निघाले सुद्धा.

तिकडे दुसरीकडे माझ्या मुलींन गणपती बाप्पा बरोबर पूर्ण दहा दिवस गप्पा  मारल्या. तिच्या हट्टाखातर यावर्षी आम्ही बालगणेश आणला. आज त्याला हात जोडून प्रार्थना करत होती तू जाऊ नकोस मी तुला माझी सगळी खेळणी देते इकडेच राहा माझ्याकडे.

यावर्षी एक गोष्ट मात्र निदर्शनास आली ती म्हणजे मूर्तिकारांच्या मनातील भय कुठेतरी गणपतीचे चेहऱ्यावर दिसत होतं. गणपती बाप्पाला सुद्धा काळजी वाटत होती, त्याच्या डोळ्यांमध्ये एक काळजीचे सावट दिसत होतं.  जणू तोही म्हणत होता की हे मनुष्यI काय करून  बसला आहेस तू. मला वाटत होतं या जगात निर्माण केलेल्या  प्राण्यांमध्ये तू सगळ्यात हुशार प्राणी आहेस. पण  तुझ्या हुशारीचा अतिरेक झाला आणि तु तुझ्याच विरोधी वापरली.

आलेल्या अनुभवातून शहाणा हो ,तुझ्या चुका सुधार. प्रदूषण आटोक्यात आणण्याचा प्रयत्न कर. कुठल्याही गोष्टीचा अतिरेक करू नकोस. नाहीतर पुन्हा एकदा निसर्गाला पुढे येऊन स्वतः स्वतःची काळजी घ्यावी लागेल, आणि तुला मात्र घरात बसावं लागेल.

यावर्षी नसेल जमलं तर पुढच्या वर्षी माझे मातीची मूर्ती आण आणि तिचं घरीच विसर्जन कर.

 सगळ्यात बुद्धिमान आणि हुशार म्हणून तू राजा आहेस जगाचा बाकी प्राण्यांची काळजी घे. निसर्गाला आटोक्यात आणण्याचा प्रयत्न करू नकोस.

चौदा विद्या आणि चौसष्ठ कलांचा अधिपती असूनही गणपती बाप्पाला त्याच्या अहंकार नाहीये पण मनुष्य मात्र त्यातल्या कला अवगत करून, पृथ्वीवर राज्य करू इच्छितो, निसर्गावर राज्य करू इच्छितो. जेवढा निसर्गावर आपला हक्क आहे तेवढाच बाकी प्राण्यांचा सुद्धा आहे. त्यांना जगु द्या नाहितर पुन्हा एकदा आपण घराचा पिंजरा धडकणार आणि ते मात्र मुक्त बाहेर फिरणार.

आपल्या पिढीला हा अनुभव आला तो आपल्या पुढच्या पिढ्यांना येऊ नये हीच गणेश चरणी प्रार्थना. पुढच्या वर्षी हा सण आपण  उत्साहात जल्लोषात साजरा करूयात.

 जाहले भजन आम्ही नमितो तव चरणा 

आम्ही नमितो तव चरणा 

 वारुनिया विघ्ने 

देवा रक्षावे दिन हो

 गणपती बाप्पा मोरया पुढच्या वर्षी लवकर या

संकल्प

आपण अनेकदा पूजेच्यावेळी प्रामुख्याने गणपतीत कापसाचे पवते (वस्त्र) घालतो. पूजेनंतर ते निर्माल्यात टाकतो. असे न करता हे वस्त्र तुमच्या घरा जवळील झाडाला,  गॅलरीत ( ते भिजणार नाही याची काळजी घेत) अडकवून ठेवा.

 या वस्त्रांचा कापूस,  पक्षी घरटे बांधताना घेऊन जातात. आपले घरटे मऊशार आणि उबदार करतात. असा प्रयोग  माझ्या मित्रांनी केला आहे. निसर्गाने दिलेले निसर्गालाच परत करायचे. पक्षी तुम्हाला  निश्चितच धन्यवाद देतील, अशी मला खात्री आहे.

Bappa's teachings

You all must be aware of the story as to how did Bappa get the elephant head. Shiv Ji must have really thought and gave him the elephant head as the elephant is one of the strongest animals with many qualities. The elephant is one of the brilliant animals, he has a good memory and gives a sort of security to all animals around. Even the tiger feels secured if the elephant is around. The elephant walks long distance and his presence make animals feel that there is a lot of lands or say forest for animals to live in.

Ganesha accepted the elephant's head from his father Shiva. He accepted his being different from others and converted it into his uniqueness. Can we learn this from Lord Ganesha?

To get success in any work we need to start it with confidence, use our skills and knowledge. Along with this we also require courage to overcome the hurdles in our way. We slow down when it comes to our weaknesses. As soon as we realize our shortcomings we step back and are unable to face the challenge. We try and run away from them instead of focusing on our inabilities. 

One should always keep in mind that we all are different and possess different abilities in different skills. We admire the skills and abilities in others but at the same time, we fail when it comes to self. We are enabled to recognize and express our own formidable potential.

Bappa is the best leader known to us. Let us see how Bappa looks, he has a pot-bellied body and face of an elephant. A person in real will definitely face an inferiority complex in this six-pack world. Here Bappa teaches us to ACCEPT ourselves. He also passes a message that your being different from others is being unique.

The face of the elephant is the symbol of LEADERSHIP. The leader is one who takes care of the entire team by protecting them. This big head inspires us reminding our potential and strengthens us. He is the best icon for the gigantic personality.

His big or say huge ears teaches us to LISTEN. Elephant keeps his ears moving, here it signifies that moving ears keeps his head cool. The leader can not be hot-headed and hence the big ears thou listen to the minute's things, still keep calm.

His big trunk if you see joins from his forehead,mastak.He has than smelling power to a far distance about the happening around- "DURDARSHITA". It is connected to his brain so he connects his long vision with his brain and teaches us to act accordingly.

His tusk-the broken one reminds us not to take UNBIASED DECISION based on personal likes,  dislikes, and prejudice. It teaches us to look equally at everything and anything.

His big ears teach us the ART OF LISTENING we hear many things all around from people, Newport, media, WATS app and much more. he teaches us to. Listen but he also teaches us to give away the unimportant things by his 'sup' like ears.

His eyes are small but they indicate ATTENTION TO DETAIL even the minute things. It gives perfection in your work if you pay attention  to minute details. 

Let us not shy away from the what we consider as our drawback or awkwardness in ourselves, Accept your self to pioneer in your field. We can make a difference because we are different. From these wonderful traits of Ganesha let us learn to accept ourselves, express ourselves in our unique way as no one else can. Invoke the confidence and self-acceptance.

Remain motivated and be enthusiastic, regardless of what you consider a disability, we all possess an innate power to make our self exceptionally abled.

Itna Sanatta kyun hain

Ganpati Bappa Morya - It was a busy day. Ganapati Bappa arrived today. Ganesh Utsav is one of the favourite celebrations of all aged groups irrespective of their religion. It is all about decoration, yummy modaks and laddus, fresh flowers, torans, rangoli, and lots of happiness around. Most enjoyable is the aarti time, when everybody oldies, as well as the kids, enjoy saying it, artharvashirsha and jayjaykaar.  

We were rushing doing preparations for a few weeks.  Ten days go busy with delicacies and compliments. The decoration concepts and ideas. Every year all ten days go busy and are surrounded by friends and relatives. We haven't invited any guests this year for Ganesh darshan.

Of course, there will be modaks but no visitors to taste. There will be decoration, aarti but no crowd around. This year it is not going to be louder as it is every year. It will be a bit simple but with the same spirit. Even the Ganpati at home is going to be simple than every year.

I guess Ganpati Bappa must also be feeling lonely saying to himself "Itna Sannata Kyun hain" but will agree on the government norms this year and give his darshan online.

The government gave guidelines for celebration this year. Many big mandals took a step forward for supporting the government’s decision. Some planned social activities instead of the big mandal followed by the crowd to celebrate and take Ganapati Bappa's blessings.

In metro cities, these festivals bring a lot of market movement and options for people to earn. For some, this is the only annual time to earn, like the Idol makers. This year many people have taken initiative to make their own eco-friendly idols. Workshops were taken and a lot of artists have learned the art of making idols.  Idol makers are sad due to a drop in the sale and prices. Next year onwards there would be only eco-friendly idols available in the market as well.

Thou markets were open the business has definitely suffered. People have compromised on the nonavailability of needful things for Ganesh puja. The prominent mandals have encouraged people to avoid visiting the pandals and opted for the online darshan.No matter how big the idol is every year,  this time everybody has agreed on idols not more than four feet and that too eco friendly. 

There are many options for eco-friendly Ganpati like tree Ganpati, red and black soil with natural colors. People have also opted for metal, the permanent idol which would be kept every year. Even many keep chocolate idol and further distribute the chocolates and sweets in an orphanage or children.

Its first time in 86 years that there will be no Lalbaug cha raja, instead they have taken up the blood and plasma donation drive. A similar initiative has been taken by Girgaon cha raja and Andheri cha raja as well.

Many did not travel to their home town and are not part of the celebrations. Things are different than they were ever, but will be soon as they need to be. 

The government has given good and clear instructions about the height of idol not more than four feet, no processions, artificial 70 immersion ponds made available in Mumbai. Not more than five karyakartas in pandals, ten during aarti, pandals to be sanitized thrice a day.NO prasad, no garlands, No flowers at the immersion ponds.

Thou it is an irony that the festival celebrated to bring people together stands to do exactly opposite today. It is a national emergency and we all should collectively contribute to being a responsible citizen so that next year we celebrate more natural and with high spirit.

May Ganpati bappa bless all of us with health and prosperity.

What your ISF

Saving a penny is earning a penny- Sudha Murthy,

It is always learning to hear Sudha Murthy. During one of the interviews, she mentioned her mother was having only seven sarees. After her death, it took only half an hour to collect her stuff.

She herself is also of opinion that one should not buy more stuff may it be anything. She does not enjoy shopping and believes in having less and is still content. The opposite is Mr. Murty who thinks buying things is very important for the circulation of money. It gives speed to the market.

This thought provoked me to think about how we shop against our needs. The supermarket and mall culture has ruined our lives. The supermarkets were designed to have all the needs under one roof. But as always we forget the idea behind the concept and run around something else.

Earlier it used to be just a grocery store you go to the store ask for things the person hands over it to you and you pay him. Now the picture has changed. You visit the store its grand store and you see everything around much more than you need and expect. You forget the things on your list and the wonderful marketing skills do their job.

Earlier needs were less and there were separate outlets for different things like the grocery store, stationery, Garments, Kitchen needs, electronics, etc. We used to visit them need-based. Today if you go for buying grocery you end up visiting all the floors of the supermarket and buy everything that fascinates you, rather than looking at the shopping list that you have. I wonder if everybody makes a shopping list when they are going to market. Visiting supermarket costs more than two to three thousand in once visit.

You see offers and tend to save money on something you do not need. Buy 1 get 1 wow! what an offer let me buy it. I will save money.

Wait for a minute and think do you need it? I have often seen people grabbing everything they get in an offered time.

I have always heard my father saying he had a few clothes to wear at his young age. His wardrobe included all these things of daily use against mine. I have special almari for clothes only. He mentioned they use to shop once in a year and he and my uncle would buy cloth of five meters to stitch a shirt to both of them, Similarly they stiched their pants too. And that's the reason I see most of them in identical dresses at their young age in the family album.

Even when I was small in primary school my mummy use to stitch me and my elder sister dresses out of her sarees. Even the 'Kalpana saree'  was saree stitched for kids out of a single saree. I have those identical dree pics with me. I still adore those dresses, they hold a special place in my cupboard, unlike the dresses I have bought after them.

Now we don't want anyone to wear a similar pattern like us, so the same dresses are out of the question.

I have seen the generation's shopping from the grocery stores to the supermarkets. The value of money changing with needs.

The moral of the story is I have finally made up my mind to stop shopping for a while. Due to lockdown, I did not buy any new dress for four months and that feeling is going good with me. I want to resist shopping for the next few months.

I STAND FOR NO SHOPPING OF DRESSES OR SAREES for the next two more months. I will stretch it till December.

I stand for is a concept you can use in your life anywhere, where you wish to stop yourself, control or encourage. Like ISF not having Nonveg food for the next one month was ISF we took a month ago and its a great feeling being fulfilled. That's a good way of treating your health too may be by ISF for fried food, ISF for reading books, ISF for a daily workout.

It is like having small defined goals. School Children can have an ISF of studying more than an hour every day. Making a new friend every week, learning a new word every day

When Lockdown started we had taken an ISF not visiting Grocery stores for a month, till we actually finished the grocery that we have stored and we were successful finishing up the food stored to much extent.

Its a feeling of accomplishment and gives an encouraging and positive impact. Try it whats your ISF?

Digital diet

A new term I came across today, digital diet...sounds wow. When I actually read about it realized it is a concept I have known long back. I learned this concept some years back in training. We were told to act to spend a day without a gadget.

It was an amazing experience, the participants unfolded the day into a learning experience. We all collectively decided to spend a day without any gadgets. Some of us even went around alone, to unknown places without gadgets. Of course, the precaution was taken to keep families informed about it. It is the reason for panic and worries for families when we are not able to reach anyone on phones. Another thing that was carrying laptops was also avoided. The Internet was left alone to explore that day. No application assistance and no google maps.

While we traveled in a group, some participants traveled all alone without google maps. It was just about the feeling and the intuition. As a group activity, we could talk to each other share thoughts and decide, or say could take decisions, but those who traveled alone went thru a tough task.

I here would share the story of a participant who traveled alone. This friend of mine started from the Bus stand in Pune where he got into a bus to a place where he had never been to. As there was no plan, no google search for places to be visited around or information about it. he got down in a small village. not very crowded, hardly built bus stop. Could not see any shops or vehicles passing by.

He reached a small roadside Dhaba types opening and had some snacks. He asked the waiter about the specialty of that place and visited some for nature's feel.

It was of course a village. The air was so pure and he could smell the freshness in the air. The birds were free to move and enjoy their fly, unlike in cities with the wires and towers around. He walked to long-distance all alone in search of something he dint knew. On the way, he got a bullock cart ride. After years he got the ride, which was free of cost and gave him that filmy feel of sitting in bullock carts. We have almost forgotten that the ride was part of many people's real-life still.  he enjoyed the nature, the birds, animals, the different trees around, and the greenery.

He had time with himself and the abundance in nature. He could have lunch under a tree with some travelers like him. He shared food with them. Further, he enquired about the staying facility for a night. It was a small village and was a difficult to have a guest house facility. Finally, an old lady asked him to use her veranda for that night.

After years he lied below the stars and enjoyed the natural breeze and cold in the village. He couldn't recall when he fall asleep. He got up the way early then he normally did, with the sun's rays on him. That was a great gesture to have the sun woke him up, with an energy boost.

The old lady offered him tea -special jaggery tea, typically in small villages and some breakfast. While he was leaving he offered some money to her for the stay, to which she refused and asked him to visit again.

He inquired about the nearby place to visit, Whole day he wandered and finally by the end of the day manage to get a bus back to Pune.

This experience was so energizing for us to hear that we planned to do the activity solely.

During all this 24 hours journey he actually didn't even realize they need for a phone, laptops, refrigerator, AC, internet, and everything we use in day to day life. He even did not need his credit card.

The good area, pleasant, and natural experience of life, how it has to be lived.

It was almost digital detoxification, Go for a digital diet, give rest to your connectivity, and have a gadget-free life for some hours or a day to get the realization of real life to live.

You will get time to get back to your hobbies, spend time with loved ones, family members. You will get time for a workout, having meals together, sharing experiences, entertainment, writing poems.

Due to recent lock down the use of gadgets had increased and its time to slow down and give them rest.

A digital diet is, of course, beneficial but making the right use of the time that you have got is also important, you can start with better planning of it. Like the limited use of apps, we have settings in smartphones to limit the use of apps. You can silent the notifications. Use the DND modes.

Disconnect to connect

Let's try it for some hours, maybe half a day, and then the real diet for one entire day. Imagine day and practice day 

Urmila-the lost character in Ramayana

Urmila - Laxmana's wife, remember. She is like the unsung hero. It is ironic that she is lost in the epic. If you read or see her story carefully you will see that she displays greater strength and patience than any other woman in the epic. 

She was the reincarnation of goddess Naga Laxmi and Sita's younger sister. When Laxmana decides to join his elder brother and sister in law to exile, Urmila is left alone for fourteen years. She also wishes to join them but for the greater good Laxmana asks her to stay back. Laxmana asks her to take care of his parent, his house, and to which she agrees and stays back. 

Urmila was newly married then and of course she must have dreamed of staying with her husband and serving him. When Kausalya Ram's mother wanted to join Rama for exile, Rama made her understand that her first duty was to be with her husband and serve him, as he was broken down due to Ram's decision to going for exile.

The same logic applies to Urmila, she is nowhere considered or discussed in Ramayana. As a result, she seems to be a silent sufferer but still seems to be strong who manages to live alone without her husband for fourteen long years.

Here Laxmana always stood guarding his elder brother Ram, Especially when he slept at night.  In exile when Laxmana has to guard his brother he asks the goddess of sleep Nidra Devi to not bless him as he has a duty to perform. In that case Nidra Devi suggests that she will have to go to someone instead of him, hence Laxmana sends her to Urmila. The goddess of sleep Nidra Devi visits Urmila Instead of him so that he can do his duty. Here it is believed that Urmila slept all fourteen years

Now the question is if  Urmila slept for fourteen years what about her duty towards her in-laws and her house? Which she promised her husband Laxmana to take care of in his absence?

Urmila was given a special power by Sita when she left for exile. She was empowered to be at three places at one time, hence she could sleep and perform her duties as well.

It is believed, having no sleep during exile days helped  Laxmana killed Meghnaad, Ravana's son. 

Here Urmila lost all fourteen years of her life sleeping, one instantly feel sorry for her. We feel bad for her life without her husband for fourteen long years. Still, it does not make her weak.

She took some decisions for the betterment that doesn't make her weak or invisible in the story. We see idols of Rama Sita And Laxmana in many temples, alas! Urmila's sacrifice has no place, but let us not forget there is always a woman behind Man's success. 

 

No time for Quarrel

I have reached a stage where quarrelling doesn’t make sense. After years of staying together, we have accepted each other with differences. Even we appreciate the differences as both having the same views may not make sense and block our inventions and findings.

Earlier surrounded by elders and now having a little addition going around within our orbits makes it more difficult to quarrel. When you live in joint family quarrels have no option than giving the silent treatment. Things sound and are watched to be normal. I remember my MIL once complimented me saying its three years but I haven’t heard you people ever quarrelling. You are left with many things in mind when you have in-laws, husband and kids around.

You do not have the option than swallowing your pride and continuing your work and talking to each other even after differences.

Kids may also try to be your parent saying “It’s OK Mumma, Papa you should not say this, or just don’t fight to be friends etc.  This is one of the reasons that you need to ignore or choose the right way of interaction when you are quarrelling. Your words form a big impact on the child mind.

No, the matter you are working, or stay at home mom, the fact is we being women one needs to speak it out or say vent it out.

Few techniques that really help in such a situation are

Writing it down all and messaging to your husband if he is one who can read and understand. You may feel that saying everything doesn’t make sense, but still, it is essential for us to speak out. Rather than quarrelling after a long tiresome day especially when after commuting there is no energy left. But piling up thoughts is painful and not good for mental health.

It is easy to process your emotions when you actually write it down, so you can write it down, or type it and can also send across, because not only writing every time may help. It is also important to convey their feelings to understand the issues and address them as a couple. Many women chose to send messages and convey their thoughts, not bad-Isn’t it? But it is always better to sit across the table and discuss.

Find out time to fight

Lack of communication is a result of lack of intimacy, lack of trust are common problems with couples. It doesn’t matter you are newly married, together for years, the problems and solutions are almost the same for all. More often monotony takes over which makes the partner feels distant and detached.

It is important for the overworked couple's confrontation, resolving conflict and

Keeping the romance alive.

Addressing the conflicts is imperative but mind how you can actually address the subjects. The blame game is where the confrontation begins. Labelling or accusing partner makes them defensive, and it is an automatic response to an attack by a human being.

Try using I instead of you Like I am feeling uncomfortable instead of you make me feel uncomfortable.

It is important to understand what is causing problem-Unrealistic expectations, ego, blame or something else?

None of you are mind reader ask some question to yourself like What disappoints me? What is that we fight over? What makes me feel connected with a partner? How do we both change our communication? Answering such questions will help step back and understand the relationship as to where it stands.

Best way to deal with the fight is to have none and keep the romance alive is the next best thing.

There are ways to make your partner feel loved. Communication is not verbally but physical touch is also important, I do not mean getting intimate only, it’s an unexpected hug, a peck on the cheek, just holding hand at times can be the best communication and this will definitely be impactful. Locking eyes in a crowd or just giving nods to each other can be communication. All this action releases oxytocin which makes you feel happier.

The five languages of love you can try are Words of affirmation, acts of service,

Physical touch, Gifts. Start with discussing these things and start from here to be on the same page.

 

Raising Self Sufficient Kids

I remember I was in school, and Mumma struggling to make me atmanirbhar - She had this vision decades back, which Modiji had some days back for us. Well, but the public doesn’t really understand, nor did I in that adolescence age.

She used to delegate small household jobs to me, which I straight away refused to do, in fact, Papa supported me by he doing it for me-Papa ki pari.

After years when I shifted to Pune for Job, the bubble popped off. I had to do everything all alone. I used to feel sad at times and suffered to some extent. We are pampered by parents but that sometimes takes a toll on us.  In fact after marriage for the very first time when I made Puran Poli my father in law was impressed and so happy that I have gifted a diamond nose pin -Pehli rasoi. I recalled the days when my mother used to make me understand how important it is to learn cooking.

The moral of the story is, are today’s mothers having the same vision our mothers had for us? Are they of the opinion to make us atmanirbhar like our mothers did?

Family structures have changed. Now families are small and couples believe in one kid only. Being the only kid, they are given everything and anything they want. I see parents doing everything for their kid Spoon feeding them. Kids are also getting smarter they know how to get things done from parents.

It is necessary to make children understand to be self-sufficient. We are living faster-paced life now and it is definitely a good thing to make your child independent at an early age.

My daughter is four years old I have a limited scope of being independent but I try and let her do her activities. It is just a realization and belonging she gets when she does some work on her own. So here is my experience with my four years old.

Give them a task they can accomplish

Start with simple day to day activities. Even at an early age, you can let your kid keep his toys in place. Remove shoes in the shoe rack, Keeps books in bookshelf, and clothes in the cupboard.

Never just end up saying clean the room, a child gets confused, if you tell them what exactly is to be done they do it

Important is to praise them, appreciate their way of doing it, as sometimes they may do it their way. Like keeping books on a shelf where they can reach easily, it is ok to accept the change. Your appreciation will definitely boost their confidence and self-esteem.

Let them decide

You can suggest but never tell them what they want, let them choose and decide. Give them the power to decide. For example like advising them to draw a picture, let them decide what they want to draw. Let them dress the way they want, let them choose the colors and patterns of clothes. They may fail at times but that is ok for them to realize. It is ok to fail to get a better choice. Do not limit them to choose, set them free. It makes them confident and gives them feeling like they are running their own life.

Small decisions like what to wear, which colors to be painted, which type of tree they want to draw, which game they want to play etc. These all are small decisions but that gives a good impact and makes them feel good and responsible.

Problem-solving skills

Always listen to kids, their issues and problems, let them know you are always there to listen. Do Not Suggest a solution to anything they are sharing with you, a simple line - Mumma I m bored, what do I do? Let them have choices and decide what they want to do. That’s important for brain development, it teaches them problem-solving and creativity.

Stop spoon-feeding them and let them make choices, think, imagine, and create. Let them come up with suggestions and answers; you can always give them clues.

Problem-solving skills are an important aspect of being an independent adult. It is an integral part of the personality.

If they come to you running due to the loss of the toy, do not help find it. Help them track their route how they played and track it.

Teach practical skills

Practical skills are preparing breakfasts, serving, or even unwrapping the foil where needed, opening the lids of tiffin, etc. Use of spoons, knife, etc. Now here I do not mean to handover the knife to your kid. You can always teach them to butter bread or apply jam on bread.

They can make their breakfast with cornflakes in milk. Let them how hot and cold food is to be served and even ate. Involve them in cooking like washing veggies and cleaning. Understanding the difference between ripe and raw fruits.

Involve them in grocery shopping to understand what we buy and what and how we cook. That develops an interest in cooking as well as eating. Let them help in the laundry. It is fun for them at times, but they are learning the art of cleaning.

Of course, doing such together is a bonding process as well. They watch you and are learning new skills.

Involve them with a small broom, a duster for their study table, and cycle as well. Let them keep records of the balance in a piggy bank.

They feel good about they are helping you and of course, you are satisfied as they understand things and develop the skills.

By getting involved in household activities they belonging to the house. They feel independent. They understand their responsibility and also they get a feeling of helping you out in work which makes them confident.

The idea is just to make the child self-sufficient by training him. Let them do things on their own, make decisions, and act accordingly. They will try, may fail but then learn the art. 

As they grow old it becomes a habit to be self-sufficient -atmanirbhar. 

This is to make them independent and of course, in difficult times it will help. You never know how time would test us. 

What Women want

 

Women’s life is more or less around the clock when it strikes twelve and Cinderella has to rush back. Though almost all have thrown their sights on what women want, let me try to say what women really want.

As a woman I just wish to have equal pleasure and avoid the 12 o'clock rush, I even do not want the magic of fairy godmother to turn me into a princess. I am happy with my cute animals. I am not looking for a prince who fails to identify me and just basis on the shoe he recognizes me.

I want to sleep those few more minutes than I do, and avoid that sudden shock of the rising sun. I want to enjoy the rising sun rays on me, I wish a steaming cup of tea

Some times to wake me up or sometimes we just hear someone saying, It's ok, relax, why did u wake up?

When I am bathing I wish the hot showers flows down me leisurely and I enjoy the loaf and it fragrance, instead of thinking of something boiling on gas or just someone banging my door.

When I am hungry I wish someone just serves me my favorite food without saying. I wish I am just given a break of those pinch of salt and fewer spice comments or something different menus.

Even when I gulp the morsels without chewing I expect someone to say, stop, and enjoy the taste and relish every morsel.

I do not want to rush to cook as soon as I m back home from anywhere, I wish I also sit and calm down, relax and put my foot up and see at the blue sky. I also want to relax when I feel exhausted.

When I am sick, I want to get pampered, like anyone else does. I want to relax on vacations like others do, I want to enjoy every bit as all do.

When we plan for vacation, I hope other than just worrying if everything is packed, someone just says you take all your things, remember taking you lovely skirts and all vacation wear you always wanted to flaunt and enjoy.

I want to be carefree at a party, sing dance and cling glasses that is what parties are planned for.

I want to stop thinking of healthy food my munchkin eats in party and letting child hog on fast foods and stuff.

I want to shake all the responsibilities and join friends as and when I wish meeting them and hanging out.

I hate the clock when it strikes twelve…….. 

I as women just want those few moments as any other person has, I just want you all to consider me among you just an individual like you all are.

I want you all to treat me as ME other than daughter, sister, mother, wife, and daughter in law.

I want you to understand and compliment me for my goods, I want you to appreciate me for the things I do as my duty, though that’s my choice to do it.

I just want to be ME as You are.

Longest spend holidays-school days

6.00 am -The early morning got a watts app message good morning!

That’s a school friend. It is raining heavily, me sipping warm tea from my cup, thinking how much I loved the rain.  Sang sang bolanath paus padel ka, shale bhavati tale sachun sutti milel ka……….always wished to bunk school and play in rain.

Today I sit here missing those days, friends, teachers, and even study. Holding a newly ordered book in my hand I smell the pages and feel like the new year has just begun with a new stock of books, notebooks, and stationery. Remembering the morning prayers, followed by assembly we did in school and under the supervision of a strict PT Teacher who was an ex-army person.

We stand quiet, sing prayers, wishing the assembly to extend to miss the first lecture (naughty we).

Remembering the lovely class, where we sat like parliament does. Today I actually visualize all the classmates in uniform and girls in two small ponytails or pleats.  Recess was always the most interesting part of the day. Where, we stood in the corridor to share and chitchat, share tiffins with each other.

The favorite teachers and of course strict and not so favorite teachers, I miss them all today. We had nicknamed all teachers but of course, all are loved today.

We were so naughty, not that we are not today but those days we gave demos every day to our teachers and parents. I remember we even passed the tiffins in the class during a lecture, had got caught and punished. 

One of the guys in adjacent division actually entered the class from the small windowpane, because he was late. And then the recess was to see how he did it. Many memories run around my head like the chirping birds in cartoons when he headbangs.

When the language barrier  almost killed all the boundaries.... A classmate giving an excuse to teacher saying. Maza Mann dukhtay...headache.

Those laboratory days, when we struggled for the vernier caliper readings and chemicals to show the right reactions and sometimes they didn't making our day painfull. Even the lab assistants and the peons of school, who helped us are remembered today. The School taught us the spirit of celebrating National festivals. The biscuits we got after the event of flag hoisting. The small get together at the Vadapav junction near the school.  

The projects and the competitions which kept us on toes to perform the best and sportsmen spirit that we earned thru all this competitions. The two houses which gave us identity and made us realize the responsibility in early age.

Exposure to gymnastics and sports was one of the best parts of school days, where we learned many sports like baseball, hockey which was not so commonly played in taluka place.

Social distancing remind me of beautiful memory.

Keep one arm distance to form perfect line, sweet nostalgic memory of school days. 

The perfection in dressing, behavior, parade, singing, dance, competitions everything thou pressured us at that time has made what we are today. I look at the DP of watts app group and laugh.  

Actually, those were the longest holidays we spend. Today when we have a wats app group of almost 60 members, I recollect everybody in school uniform. School days, Aha!! Yaadein reh jati hain, Kuch meethi baatein reh jati hain. Our Adolescense years......

We were growing young and were  in teens when we left school. It was the year of teasing and Masti. Finally we loved going to school by last year. The first crush....

When studies pressure increased, we were dreaming of the future. Now we are in the future missing those school days………Hum bade to ho rahe the par bade nahi the …… many of life’s first created during those days for us to remember today. First movie together in a theatre, picnics, sports days, competitions, annual days, Ganesh festival at school, the two houses, projects, etc etc etc it's a never-ending list. There was nothing like uski dress meri dress se achi kyun? even gadgets did not exist, it was the old wired telephone - the landlines at home or bi-cycles to catch hold of your friend. What fun it was, thou that we thought we were loaded with activities and so much of study, we actually enjoyed it.

Today with gadgets and a lot of connectivity tools I do not see the warmth in the friends as we had. I used to cycle down five kilometers to reach my best friend's place every day, today the gadgets made it so easy to connect and lose physical connectivity. Like every parent, I also add, Humare time ki baat hi Kuch aur thi.....isn't it?

School gave us many good insights towards life one of them was visit to NDA. That was the final teaching we received last year before we could step in the world. We were all prepared and had strength in our feathers. 

What would I give to relive those days of sheer happiness and freedom from all worries. No matter how old we become we cherish the “small nothings” of our school lives. School may remind you of your close buddy or a strict teacher, some accomplishments or some failures, report cards, and punishments, everything brings a smile to our faces today. Today’s day is going to nostalgic as its  6.00 am I think about all of you. Miss you all guys and lovely teachers and of course the school building as well.