I remember I was in school, and Mumma struggling to make me atmanirbhar -
She had this vision decades back, which Modiji had some days back for us. Well,
but the public doesn’t really understand, nor did I in that adolescence age.
She used to delegate small household jobs to me, which I straight away
refused to do, in fact, Papa supported me by he doing it for me-Papa ki pari.
After years when I shifted to Pune for Job, the bubble popped off. I had
to do everything all alone. I used to feel sad at times and suffered to some
extent. We are pampered by parents but that sometimes takes a toll on us. In fact after marriage for the very first time
when I made Puran Poli my father in law was impressed and so happy that I have gifted a diamond nose pin -Pehli rasoi. I recalled the days when my mother used
to make me understand how important it is to learn cooking.
The moral of the story is, are today’s mothers having the same vision our
mothers had for us? Are they of the opinion to make us atmanirbhar like our
mothers did?
Family structures have changed. Now families are small and couples
believe in one kid only. Being the only kid, they are given everything and anything
they want. I see parents doing everything for their kid Spoon feeding them.
Kids are also getting smarter they know how to get things done from parents.
It is necessary to make children understand to be self-sufficient. We
are living faster-paced life now and it is definitely a good thing to make your
child independent at an early age.
My daughter is four years old I have a limited scope of being
independent but I try and let her do her activities. It is just a realization
and belonging she gets when she does some work on her own. So here is my experience
with my four years old.
Give them a task they can accomplish
Start with simple day to day activities. Even at an early age, you can let
your kid keep his toys in place. Remove shoes in the shoe rack, Keeps books in bookshelf, and clothes in the cupboard.
Never just end up saying clean the room, a child gets confused, if you
tell them what exactly is to be done they do it
Important is to praise them, appreciate their way of doing it, as
sometimes they may do it their way. Like keeping books on a shelf where they can
reach easily, it is ok to accept the change. Your appreciation will definitely
boost their confidence and self-esteem.
Let them decide
You can suggest but never tell them what they want, let them choose and
decide. Give them the power to decide. For example like advising them to draw a
picture, let them decide what they want to draw. Let them dress the way they
want, let them choose the colors and patterns of clothes. They may fail at times
but that is ok for them to realize. It is ok to fail to get a better choice. Do
not limit them to choose, set them free. It makes them confident and gives them
feeling like they are running their own life.
Small decisions like what to wear, which colors to be painted, which
type of tree they want to draw, which game they want to play etc. These all are small decisions but that
gives a good impact and makes them feel good and responsible.
Problem-solving skills
Always listen to kids, their issues and problems, let them know you are
always there to listen. Do Not Suggest a solution to anything they are sharing
with you, a simple line - Mumma I m bored, what do I do? Let them have choices
and decide what they want to do. That’s important for brain development, it
teaches them problem-solving and creativity.
Stop spoon-feeding them and let them make choices, think, imagine, and
create. Let them come up with suggestions and answers; you can always give them
clues.
Problem-solving skills are an important aspect of being an independent
adult. It is an integral part of the personality.
If they come to you running due to the loss of the toy, do not help find it.
Help them track their route how they played and track it.
Teach practical skills
Practical skills are preparing breakfasts, serving, or even unwrapping
the foil where needed, opening the lids of tiffin, etc. Use of spoons, knife, etc. Now here I do not mean to handover the knife to your kid. You can always
teach them to butter bread or apply jam on bread.
They can make their breakfast with cornflakes in milk. Let them how hot
and cold food is to be served and even ate. Involve them in cooking like
washing veggies and cleaning. Understanding the difference between ripe and raw
fruits.
Involve them in grocery shopping to understand what we buy and what and
how we cook. That develops an interest in cooking as well as eating. Let them help
in the laundry. It is fun for them at times, but they are learning the art of
cleaning.
Of course, doing such together is a bonding process as well. They watch you
and are learning new skills.
Involve them with a small broom, a duster for their study table, and cycle
as well. Let them keep records of the balance in a piggy bank.
They feel good about they are helping you and of course, you are
satisfied as they understand things and develop the skills.
By getting involved in household activities they belonging to the
house. They feel independent. They understand their responsibility and also
they get a feeling of helping you out in work which makes them confident.
The idea is just to make the child self-sufficient by training him. Let them do things on their own, make decisions, and act accordingly. They will try, may fail but then learn the art.
As they grow old it becomes a habit to be self-sufficient -atmanirbhar.
This is to make them independent and of course, in difficult times it will help. You never know how time would test us.
