Let us embrace 2021

The year 2020 was not less than an amusement park, a rollercoaster ride. 2020 was a combo year, a teacher who taught and kicked us out of our comfort zones. Unknowingly we became the witness of a milestone year. Believe me we are going to share stories to our kids and grandchildren….once upon a time in 2020….2020 actually came up with lot of surprises good, bad, and worst, in all sense. It showered anxiety, threat, uncertainty, unpredictable situation, and showed all of us the most awaited mirror. Need of the time.

In India March came with an uncertain and unpredictable lockdown. Generations had never faced something we did and I am happy we made it to 2021.Year was surprise package of lay off of various organizations, irreparable loss, emotional threat, stressful situations. We faced all types of crises, medical and economical. No one knew how long it would take to get back to normal…instead we all came up with new normal. Work from home, home schools, online studies. It was all together a great learning of course for those who really learned. People accepted the loss of job and opportunities and actually discovered their passion, interests and in fact a new carrier. Many of us bounced back to fullest like shining stars. Human being got opportunity to be human, and the year actually surfaced the good side of humanity. People came up with helping each other. Employees were paid salaries at all levels across the world irrespective of the job results. from a house maid to corporate manager. The employees accepted and welcomed the salary reduction positively.

We entered a dark cave in hope but had to face adventures, actually felt like some treasure hunt or adventurous sport, or like Jungle safari. But believe me, there is an end, there has to be an opening to the tunnel which will bring the light in.

We were successful to the extent of making lemonade of the lemons thrown at us. We all were shaken upside down and thrown, but we all made it possible by changing the traditional ways of working studying, and living life. We actually could survive without many things we thought were basic needs. The celebrations became more meaningful this year.2020 actually helped us believe in the impossible as I M POSSIBLE.

Public and government-supported as well as worked in collaboration. Private sectors, government sectors all did their best.

We accepted challenges and pushed a mile more, extended our limits, and excelled. We survived with minimum needs and families got along so well irrespective of facilities available. Relationships improved and were valued again and we started valuing relations, families, me time and came up with happy families.

2020 was indeed a rejuvenating year that got the best out of us. We cannot predict how 2021 is going to be but with changed lifestyle and acceptance we can do it much better. It had been so uncertain for the last 365 days  that we cannot predict but we can always mold our self with the utmost care and keep surviving on hopes.

Last but not least for those who could not make it to 2021, condolence to their families. For those who could not grab the year of opportunity, it's still not late.

With all the valuable learning and experience we can do it ….2021 and more. Let us bid goodbye to 2020 and welcome 2021.Happy new year to all of you.Lets embrace 2021

Zindagi ….aa Raha hunn main.

 

 

मुलांना शिस्त कशी लावायची

  मुलांना शिस्त कशी लावायची कदाचित आपल्या आधीच्या पिढीला हा प्रश्न कधीच पडला नसावा. पण पालक आणि मुलं हे समीकरण पिढ्यानपिढ्या सारखच राहत. पण आपल्या पिढीला हा प्रश्न पडतो कारण आपल्या पिढीमध्ये बऱ्यापैकी  पालक हे कामावर जात असून,  तसेच एकत्र कुटुंब पद्धती आता दिसत नाही. मुलांना देण्याचा वेळ काही प्रमाणात कमी झालेला आहे. कधी कधी आपल्या कामामुळे इतके व्यस्त असतो की मुलं अचानक मोठी झाल्याचे भासत. अचानक प्रश्न पडतो मुलांना शिस्त कशी लावावी?

 मुलांना शिस्त ही त्यांच्या आजूबाजूची परिस्थिती, त्यांचे पालक त्यांची शिक्षक आणि त्यांचे मित्र यांच्याकडूनच लागते. आपल्या प्रत्येक वागण्याचं आकलन करत असतात तसेच शाळेत त्यांना त्यांचे शिक्षक काय शिकवतात त्यांचे मित्र कसे वागतात याच्यावर ही त्यांची शिस्त बऱ्यापैकी अवलंबून असते. त्याची सगळ्यात जास्त जबाबदारी पालकांची असते.

 सगळ्यात पहिला आणि महत्त्वाचा मुद्दा आहे की जेव्हा मुलं आपल्याकडे काही विचार न करता केवळ काही बोलल्या करता येतात तेव्हा पालक म्हणून आपण त्यांना शंभर टक्के वेळ/ लक्ष देतो का.

 आपल्या हातात सतत आपला मोबाईल तसेच समोर लॅपटॉप  असतो का? ज्यामुळे मुलांना असा भास होतो की आपण जे काम करतोय ते फार महत्त्वाच आहे आणि किंबहुना ते मुलांपेक्षाही महत्त्वाच आहे अशी जाणीव झाल्यानंतर मुलं थोडेसे जिद्दी होऊ लागतात. त्याकरता गरजेच आहे ते जेव्हा मुलं आपल्याकडे काही हेतूने येतात तेव्हा मुलांना  शंभर टक्के लक्ष द्यावे, त्यांच्या मनातील ते महत्त्वाचं नाही अशी भावना एकदा गेली की मुलं आपोआप आई-वडिलांचे सगळं ऐकू लागतात. आई-वडिलांनी त्यांच्याकडे लक्ष दिलेलं आवडतं इनफॅक्ट लक्ष वेधून घेण्या करता ते बरंच काही करतात कधीकधी चुकाही करतात.

 जर आपण लहान मुलांविषयी बोललो तर लहान मुलांना फक्त आई-वडील समोर हवे असतात आई-वडिलांनी आपल्या  बरोबर बोलावं खेळावं एवढीच अपेक्षा असते त्यांना आई-वडिलांकडून मटेरियलस्टिक अशी काहीही अपेक्षा नसते. त्यामुळे रोज कामावरुन आल्यानंतर आपला सगळं कामाचं व्याप बाजूला ठेवून आपण मुलांना कमीत कमी अर्धा ते एक तास दिला तर मुलं अतिशय खूश होऊन नीट वागतात.

 दिवसातल एक  जेवण तरी मुलांबरोबर करणं आवश्यक असतं. तसेच जेवताना मोबाइल किंवा काम बाजूला ठेवणे,फोन न उचलणे, आणि कुटुंबाबरोबर बोलत बोलत गप्पा मारत जेवण   केल्यानं मुलांना त्यांना वेळ दिल्यासारखं वाटतं.

 मुलांशी आपल्याला काही शंका विचारतात तेव्हा बराच वेळा आपल्याला त्याचे उत्तर माहीत नसतात तेव्हा मुलांना सरळपणे माहित नाही असं म्हणण्यापेक्षा विचार करतो आणि माहिती करून सांगतो हे जास्त सोयीस्कर असं केल्याने आपण मुलांना विचार करण्यास प्रवृत्त करतो किंवा प्रोत्साहन देतो

महत्त्वाचा मुद्दा - मुलांमध्ये आणि आई-वडिलांमध्ये कम्युनिकेशन विचारांची देवाण-घेवाण खूप  गरजेची आहे.

 आपले विचार मुलांना कळायला हवेत तसेच मुलांचे विचार सुद्धा आई-वडिलांनी गृहीत धरायला हवेत घरातला कुठलाही निर्णय घेताना त्यामध्ये मुलांचा विचार घेऊन ती गोष्ट केली तर मुलांना जबाबदार असल्यासारखं वाटतं. ते विचार करू लागतात थोडक्यात आपण  त्यांना डिसिजन मेकिंग शिकवतो यांन मुलांचा कॉन्फिडन्स वाढतो.

 कम्युनिकेशन वाढवा कॉन्फिडन्स वाढला मुलं  निर्णय घ्यायला लागले म्हणजे त्यांच्यामध्ये आपोआप जबाबदारी येते.

 मुलं जबाबदारीने गोष्टी करायला शिकतात.

 मुले प्रत्येक गोष्ट आपलीच बघून करतात त्यामुळे आईवडिलांनी तर रोल मॉडेल होण्याकरता आपणही शिस्तशीर वागलो तर मुलं आपल्या सारखेच  वागतात.

 मुलांना शिस्त लावण्याकरता आईवडिलांनी स्वतः शिस्तशीर वागणं बोलणं आणि राहण तितकाच गरजेच आहे.

 मुलांना शिस्त लावण्याकरता महत्त्वाचा वाटा असतो  आजी आजोबांचा. आपले आई-वडील आपल्या मोठ्यांशी कसे वागतात किंवा आपल्या घरातील मोठे त्यांच्या मुलांशी कसे वागतात हे सगळं बघून शिकतात त्यांना वळण लागतं.

 घरातल्या लोकांच्या संस्कारावर मुलाचे संस्कार जास्त अवलंबून असतात तसेच त्यांच्या शाळेतील त्यांचे मित्र त्यांचा शिक्षक वर्ग त्यांना मार्गदर्शन करू शकतो.

 तुम्हाला तुमच्या मुलांना जे काय शिकायचं आहे समजा तुम्हाला एखादी भाषा शिकवायची असेल त्या भाषेमध्ये तुम्हाला बोलता लिहिता वाचता आले पाहिजे तर बोला तुमचं अनुकरण करतात तुमच्याकडून शिकतात.

 आपल्या आधीच्या पिढीपेक्षा आपल्याला मुलांना शिस्त लावून आहे थोडं चॅलेंजिंग वाटतं कारण तेव्हाच्या आणि आताच्या कुटुंब पद्धतीमध्ये टेक्नॉलॉजीमध्ये  खूप फरक आहे आधी मुलांना आपोआप शिस्त लागायचे आणि थोड्याच शिकवावे लागायचं आता मुलांना जास्त शिकवावं लागतं.

Public speaking skills for kids

Public speaking skills for children Everything happens for the first time in our life sometimes we perform much better than we expect and sometimes we fail. Before quitting we should always look back for the reasons of our failure. 

Public speaking is a skill which can be attained in the school days itself but at the same time if the child fails in doing so he probably may not opt for it again. it happens that children at times freeze on the stage looking at the audience, sometimes they forget what they were supposed to say, sometimes they just fumble. let us see first what can be the reasons for the failure or freezing on the stage.

There are various reasons like may be 

Fear

Shyness 

Lack of knowledge 

Audience 

Language barrier

Confidence

These all are very important factors for one to be a public speaker .

To be a successful public speaker we should be well versed with the language and audience understand it.

It is very important to know who is the audience and in front of whom we are going to share our knowledge, we need to understand the ability, language or qualification of the audience who is going to hear us. 

Having knowledge of the topic is very essential in case of kids it mostly happens that the kids learn the script by heart or mug it up and finally on the stage they speak it out.In this course if they forget some word or some line and thus they cannot deliver what they are supposed to. If the students really study the topic very well understand and then they speak about the topic the speech becomes much more natural than the one which is mugged up. Being knowledgeable they do not get stuck up, or the question doesn't arise if they forget anything the flow of the topic goes natural and appeals.

Shyness is a character trait of a person definitely it takes time for a person to be extrovert. Shyness cannot be called as fear it is the character trait of a person where a person doesn't open up or speak easily with everybody he prefers to stay calm and introvert the only remedy for shyness is trying to open up yourself by sharing your thoughts speaking to unknown people confidently. If your child is shy ensure that you take him to public places talk to new people make new friends.Being a character trait it will take time for the child to open up but over a period of time and continuous practice it will definitely help the child to speak up and perform well for public speaking. 

Fear doesn't exist if the person is knowledgeable. When the child has knowledge about the particular thing he doesn't hesitate to speak and he gets confidence as well as the fear does not exist. fear is again of various types other it is the first time first performers fear  second is if the child has faced a failure earlier like if the child has tried public speaking and has freezed on the stage such experiences  do not allow the child to perform and pull him back.

The audience acceptance or reactions if the child has faced bullying by the audience he is scared of performing again in front of the same audience.

Parents and teachers play a very important role in increasing the child by boosting up his spirit there may be failures at times of the child may not succeed in the very first time but the parents and the Teachers role here is to encourage the child to participate understand the topic study the topic and deliver the speech with confidence.

It may be hard in the beginning may be difficult for the child to speak in the very first attempt but over a period of time he will definitely succeed here the parent and teachers role is to make the child understand and accept failure you need to guide him to accept failure as failures are the first step towards success it is not always about success but it is more about participating I am giving it a try.

So encourage your child to participate  and practice well. Develop the skill in your child.

Immortal Teachings

Collection of beautiful stories with moral values- I am writing about my new book published on Amazon. This is again an ebook ( soft copy ) considering the fact that still having hard copies is not preferred by many of us. These stories are heard by me sometimes in schools and management presentations as well, that is why I haven't restricted this to any age. 

I keep reading such stories to keep myself grounded and inculcate moral values in my daughter. I have always shared stories with kids around in different ways.

Imagine I was narrating Alibaba and 40 theifs to my 4-year-old. It was indeed a difficult task to make her understand poor brother, rich brother, weighing machine(she knows digital one only ), gold coins  Khul Ja sim sim etc It is difficult to explain simple things to kids with gadget powers and especially those who live in cities far from natural and actually a way of living life.

Well, the stories narrated are kept simple with simple language for better understanding. Narrate it to your kids and of course elders around too. I would be publishing more at different intervals.

The idea of writing these stories is nothing but to benefit the readers. Some of these stories were heard in school or some in corporate training.

A human being is a teacher and the student himself. I would not restrict this book to any age as the stories with morals are the immortal teachers.

We were students when we heard these stories in schools and today we read this for our children, Stories play an important role in shaping the next generations, making them understand our values.

Stories with morals do wonders with children of all ages, they engage them in imagination and creativity. The stories here are designed short for children to keep focused on it.

Its a combination of various stories and moral values.Hope you enjoy reading them out.

लाल बहादुर शास्त्री

 लाल बहादुर शास्त्री कॉंग्रेस चे सरचिटणीस असताना त्यांना दरमहा ६० रुपये  पगार होता , जो ते आपल्या पत्नी कडे देत आणि त्या मध्ये त्यांचा सगळा खर्च चालत असे. एकदा त्यांचा एक जवळचा मित्र त्यांच्या कडे आला , त्याच्या मुलाच्या शस्त्रक्रिये साठी त्याला ६० रुपये उसने पहिले होते, त्यांनी शास्त्रीजींकडे ६० रुपये मागितले..., शास्त्रीजी म्हणाले कि माझा पगाराच तेव्हडा आहे, ज्या मध्ये माझ्या कुटुंबाचा खर्च जम्तेम भागतो मी तुला कुठून पैसे देऊ ? शास्त्रीजींची पत्नी हे ऐकत होती , त्या म्हणाल्या त्याची आजची गरज महत्वाची आहे , माझ्या कडे ६० रुपये आहेत आपण ते त्यांना द्या. शास्त्रीजींनी त्याला पैसे दिले. तो मित्र गेल्यावर त्यांनी आपल्या पत्नीला विचारले कि हे पैसे तू कुठून आणलेस ? त्या म्हणाल्या तुमच्या दर महिन्यातील पगारातून मी ५ रुपये साठवत होते त्याचे १ वर्षाचे असे साठलेले , ६० रुपये माझ्या कडे होते.   ...त्या नंतर लाल बह्हादूर शास्त्री यांनी कॉंग्रेस अध्यक्षांना पत्र लिहिले आणि स्वतःचा पगार ५५ रुपये करण्याची विनंती केली....त्यांनी असे लिहिले कि माझा  महिन्याचा खर्च ५५ रुपयात भागतो......!!!. 

मरताना अवघे "६ आणे" खिशात असणारा ....... भारतीय पंतप्रधान स्वर्गिय लाल बहादूर शास्त्री यांची आज जयंती

उत्तुंग व्यक्तीमत्व. साधी राहणी, उच्च विचारसरणी…

खाजगी कामासाठी १५ किलोमीटर सरकारच्या गाडीचा उपयोग झाला तेव्हा आपल्या पत्नीला त्या खर्चाची रक्कम सरकारी कोषात भरायला सांगणारे, दुष्काळात आठवड्यातून १ दिवस पुर्णतः भुखे राहणारे, पत्नीला फाटलेल्या शर्टापासून मला याचा रुमाल तयार करून दे म्हणणारे, शेतकरी आणि जवान हे खरे राष्ट्रनिर्माते असल्याचे ओळखून जय जवान जय किसान नारा देणारे, देशाच्या स्वातंत्र्यासाठी ९ वर्ष जेल मध्ये राहणारे

उंचीने कमी मात्र कर्तुत्वाने श्रेष्ठ व्यक्तिमत्व असलेल्या शास्त्रीजींच्या बाबतीत ‘मूर्ती छोटी, कीर्ती महान’ असेही कौतुकाने म्हटले जाई. वयाच्या अवघ्या ११व्या वर्षी महात्मा गांधींच्या विचाराने प्रभावित झालेल्या शास्त्रीजींनी स्वातंत्र्य चळवळीत भाग घेतला. राष्ट्राच्या दृष्टीकोनातून सैनिक आणि शेतकरी यांचे महत्व लक्षात घेता, दोघांच्याही सन्मानार्थ त्यांनी जारी केलेली ‘जय जवान, जय किसान’ ही घोषणा आजही लोकप्रिय ठरते.

लाल बहादूर शास्त्री .. थोर स्वातंत्र्यसैनिक, भारताचे दुसरे पंतप्रधान लाल बहाद्दूर शास्त्री. लाल बहाद्दूर यांचा जन्म २ ऑक्टोंबर १९०४ राजी झाला. बालपण आणि संपूर्ण आयुष्य अतिशय साधेपणाने गेले. ९ जून १९६४ साली ते भारताचे पंतप्रधान झाले पंडित जवाहरलाल नेहरूंच्या निधनानंतर त्यांची पंतप्रधानपदी निवड झाली.१९६५ च्या भारत-पाक युद्धात भारतीय जवानांच्या पाठीशी समर्थपणे उभे राहत, त्यांनी राबविलेल्या मुत्सद्दी धोरणाच्या जोरावर पाकला चारी मुंड्या चित् करून भारतीय सैन्याने विजय मिळविला.आणि १९६५ चे भारत पाकिस्तान युद्ध त्यांच्या काळात झाले. हे युद्ध अजून काही दिवस चालले असते पाकिस्तान हा देश जगाच्या नकाशावरून संपूर्णपणे नष्ट झाला असता.त्या आधी त्यांनी उत्तर प्रदेशच्या मुख्यमंत्रीपदाची जबाबदारीही समर्थपणे पेलली होती. त्यांच्या कर्तबगारीवर त्यांनी राष्ट्रीय राजकारणात स्थान मिळविले. पंडित जवाहरलाल नेहरूंच्या नेतृत्वाखालील मंत्रिमंडळात रेल्वेमंत्री म्हणूनही त्यांनी काम पहिले. एका दुर्दैवी रेल्वे अपघाताची नैतिक जबाबदारी स्वीकारून त्यांनी राजीनामा दिला होता. अशा प्रकारे राजीनामा देण्याची ही देशातील पहिलीच घटना होती.

१९६५ च्या युद्धातील विजयानंतर सोविएत रशियाने मध्यस्ती केली आणि तत्कालीन सोविएत संघातील ताश्कंद येथे युद्धबंदी करण्यासाठी भारत-पाक शांतीचर्चा घडवून आणली. ह्याच दरम्यान ताश्कंद येथे हृदयविकाराचे एकामागोमाग दोन तीव्र झटके आल्याने ११ जानेवारी १९६६ रोजी त्यांचे दुःखद निधन झाले. त्या वेळी अवघे ६ आणे खिशात होते .स्वत:साठी काहीही न मागे ठेवता दौ-यावर असताना त्यांचा संशयास्पद मृत्यू झाला. संपूर्ण जगाला त्यांचा मृत्यू हृदयविकाराने झाला असे सांगण्यात आले, परंतु त्यांच्या पत्नी ललिता शास्त्री व मुलगा सुनील शास्त्री यांच्या मतानुसार लाल बहादूर शास्त्रीवर विषप्रयोग झाला होता. यासाठी त्यांच्या स्वयंपाक्याला अटक करण्यात आली परंतु नंतर निर्दोष मुक्तता करण्यात आली. ताश्कंद करावर सही कारण लाल बहादूर शास्त्रीना मान्य नव्हत पण त्यांना मजबुरीने त्यावर सही करावी लागली व त्यामुळेच त्यांनी आत्महत्या केली असावी किंवा सदर बाबतीचा धक्का घेतल्याने त्यांना ह्रदयविकाराचा झटका आला असावा. आजपर्यंत भारत सरकार ने सुरक्षेचे कारण देऊन त्या घटनेचा अहवाल जगासमोर आणलेला नाही.

असे हे उत्तुंग व्यक्तीमत्व. साधी राहणी, उच्च विचारसरणी…. देशाचे पंतप्रधान असूनही कोणतीही संपत्ति त्यांच्या नावावर जमा नव्हती उलट कर्जच काढून ते घर चालवत. "जय जवान, जय किसान" असा अनोखा नारा देत त्यांनी जवान आणि किसान हेच देशाचे भविष्य असल्याचे देशाला पटवून दिले होते जनतेला जिंकणारा भारतीय पंतप्रधान स्व लाल बहादूर शास्त्री हे एकच उदाहरण आहे. राष्ट्राप्रती त्यांच्या अतुलनीय योगदानाबद्दल त्यांना मरणोत्तर ‘भारतरत्न’ पुरस्काराने सन्मानित करण्यात आले. ...

*पूज्यनीय स्वातंत्र्य सेनानी माजी पंतप्रधान श्री लाल बहादुर शास्त्रीजींच्या जयंती निमित्त त्यांच्या पवित्र स्मृतीस विनम्र अभिवादन...

* *जय जवान,जय किसान*

भारतमातेच्या ह्या थोर सुपुत्रास कोटी कोटी प्रणाम 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

                                                                                                              आज २ ऑक्टोबर  लालबहाद्दूर शास्त्री यांची जयंती..त्यांना विनम्र अभिवादन...!

Strength to fight your own mind

We have seen a lot of things and learnt a lot of experiences since March 22nd 2020. Many of us have seen the highs of the life the lows of the life and are still restless with the things happening around. today I am sharing a story of some of my friends and their experiences when they were somewhere a part of this covid fight. Though I completely agree that the covid-19 was not only the fight with the virus but it is basically the fight with oneself your own mind and the people around. For some people who have fought and come up with a victory on covid-19 and some who have lost their loved ones we have some lessons that this era has taught us.

Once you are infected with the virus there is no point searching how did you get infected but the important thing is how you react to it, how your body your mind your family and people around you react to your infection. In the very beginning of this pandemic people have stood besides each other by the helping hands and concerns,but the  same hands are slowly getting withdrawn because of the fear that they people have in their mind.

Mind was the biggest enemy in all these times as the medicines were doing the job but the willpower of a person and the thought process that dragged him back literally took lives of many people. The trauma of getting infected and being isolated along with the doctors in the PPE kit was something which was not easy for a infected patient. It scared him and the mind was someone who took him on a trip to lose all the positivity and minimise his will power and strength to live. Though we all knew that yoga would have been a best weapon to deal with controlling your own self and your own thoughts and mind. In such a scenario not everybody was comfortable practicing it for the very first time.

It was a very scary experiences shared by many of my friends that they had someone in the family infected with virus which is an accident as we all know but the way people reacted to the infection was weird disgusting and humiliating. The people whom sometimes we have stood by them in weaker times giving them strength and courage to bounce back have simply turned their back. It was not only the elders who suffered but the kids from the family also suffered as they were not allowed to play with the children around of course I understand that everybody is scared to the extent of death. But behaving so in human with a small kid is no where a human act. sharing experience about the small 4 year old kid whose  father got infected with Corona and was hospitalized the kid had heard about coronavirus not very sure about what the disease is? one day missing his friend he from the grill of his house called up his friend trying to talk from the grill feeling lonely at house. His friend who is again five years old kid shouted from her main doors grill saying you please do not come to my house as your father is infected with Corona.KIds do not understand it's the way we elders talk in the family and kids repeat like parrot.  

Even doctor ill treated by a wife when asked for home isolation. 

Maids immediately stop coming for work, knowing the man of the house is infected who was hospitalised for some other reason a week back but same maids wanted to be paid in the month of March and April though they didn't work. We were told to have empathy and sympathy for less previlaged.

The lady who picks up garbage the sweeper refused to touch the garbage bag of the infected persons house with her headgloves on and addition to this she did it for entire floor. 1 k upar 5 free. While I was making her understand  people peeped from their doors and enjoyed the discussions. 

The maid shares the information that government is killing people by admitting in hospital, they don't treat. People may not understand the dialer tone for awareness of virus and safety, but such stupid rumours  are always understood. 

The doctors and nurses who were working in the covid Hospitals who were otherwise greated with a smile and are considered to be a noble profession faced the banging of doors on their face.

People on the floor of infected person closed the doors for ever and ever as though the virus would jump in the moment the door would open. 

No phone calls to ask about the hospitalised patient, never know virus may travel through vibrations.

We the people of India are so equal and stand on same pedestral irrespective  of our education, profession, awareness, caste bla bla bla.

Similar experiences which will give you goosebumps are being shared by many of my friends and even some warriors whom I do not know personally in my upcoming book somewhere in December 2020. I am happy for the people who are sharing with me to have enough courage to share their suffering rather than the people who have shown back to them in difficult Times. I would still be saying thank you to all of them who have shown their back to the covid warriors in difficult time giving them a lot of strength and courage to identify the real you. 

Today in this blog and would not ask to be more empathetic or sympathetic towards anyone because this is not something which can be taught it is something which comes within being a human. Lastly we are going to suffer all this for almost for next two years as per the WHO guidelines. So may God give all of us the strength and the spirit to fight with our own mind and the people around as medicines would be enough to take care of the virus.

If u agree do comment. 

Covidivorce

It is 6 months and the coronavirus is still somewhere around us. the pandemic has taught us a lot of things and expose us to the fact of life. The Good the Bad and the Ugly. while some people enjoyed the best part of their life during pandemic being with family, some struggled for their bread and butter. Some got stuck up at someplace other than their home2.

In some places, there is still a lockdown and people are not able to travel around. One of the most impacted areas of COVID is Human Relationship especially the couples.COVID has affected the couple's relationship to the extent that there are comparatively higher divorce and separation issues.

Covidivorce the pandemic has tried the patience of people to the level that there has been reported a spike in cases of troubled marriages, divorces, enquiries, counselling. It is observed that the COVID-19 has impacted badly on the couple's relationship. The lockdown has tested the People's patience and people are discovering the new sides of their partner the unseen which they are not liking resulting into fixing the last nail in the coffin. COVID has been an eye-opener as well as a destructor in many cases.

In the metro cities where couple hardly found some time to spend with each other Quarantine gave them months to stay together resulting them exposing the side of the partner which they were not much aware of or say which they have never seen and did not appreciate.

It was easy for many relations who had already applied for divorce and were hanging by a thread during the pandemic the quarantine actually nailed it. Similar was the case of a newly married couple who got a lot of time exploring each other resulting, to spending a lot of time together. Newly married couples could conclude in a few days. Quarantine was as an eye-opener for many couples were in they felt like they are not appreciated by the better half. Simple things like helping each other, cooking for each other or just like watching a simple web series together was hard for some couples as they have different choices and were not ready to get along. This reluctance and being headstrong at the delicate issues were not appreciated by partners resulting in break up. 

The very important part of married life sex took toll off relations in many couples. Domestic violence had increased to the level that we have seen women approaching the police stations and filing the complaint. Staying together and juggling with work from home with no social life and spending hours together tested people's threshold for patience and tolerance with a lot of anxiety the lack of job security during the lockdown gave rise to various quarrels arguments fictions and domestic violence thus finally decided to separate. As we all know that the courts were not open but the couples had approached the counselling centres seeking some relief during this time. The number of divorced pleas has gone up much higher. 

The couples do not want to stay together. These all issues are the part of a married couples life but during the pandemic, as they had no social life it got exaggerated they have no options of venting it out.

Human being getting intolerant towards the relations and finding it difficult to adjust among themselves. this is something that we are observing throughout the world there are number of rising cases. In the past few months, we have seen over 45 Hollywood couples who have called off the relationship. Apart from what we all are going through globally, I think that the couple's mulling over a divorce should give some time to the relationship and not make any hasty decision. We all are going through a different phase of life which is stressful, but the only solution to this is being patient with each other.

Gurudakshina the invention of gold tree

Today we all are celebrating Teachers day. Everybody's status reflects so, even the naughtiest one in schools. Guru dakshina reminds me of Dronacharya,Parshuram and great sages.

I came across a very interesting story about Gurudakshina.

Raghav -The King somewhere in North India was believed to be one of the strongest kings of that times.He  was a great warrior and had won many states around his kingdom, extending to todays Pakisthan,Nepal and so on. Raghav- the ancestor of Lord Rama  wasn't only a good warrior but was known for his kindness. He would perform an yagya everytime he wins the war and gave away his alms to the people who ever approach.He was well known Suryawanshi and  known for his act of  kindness as well.

An old and poor kid Koustheya who wanted to learn and his guru was ready to teach accepting the fact that he would not be able to give him any gurudakshina.His teacher taught him best and once he completed his studies,Kaustheya asked his teacher what shall he give him as gurudakshina? His teacher tol dhim that he was aware that Koustheya is poor and would not be able to give him anything.Still Koustheya insisted and at some point his Guru got angry and out of anger he asked for Ten Lakh golds coins. 

Now Koustheya was puzzled as to how will he get them,He had no option. but then he has to give gurudakshina,as on his insisting his guru has asked for it.

Koustheya started his journey as he left the Gurus Ashram. He travelled down the thick forest thinking how he could get those 10 lakh gold coins. he was thinking whom can he approach so that he can get the coins. Suddenly he thought of King Raghu the only hope he had as King Raghu was known for his kindness.

he decided to approach King Raghu and share his problem with him. when he reached the kingdom gives of there was a Yagya being held by King Raghu that was the right time to approach as he knew that Raghu gives away all his alms after he wins the war. he approached the king and ask him to share 10 lakh gold coins to him as a Guru Dakshina to his teacher. Raghu had already given up all the alms and had nothing with him. he shared with Koustheiya that he has already been done with the donation part and has nothing left with him. but he would definitely love to help him.

He asked Koustheiya to wait for some days till he gets those10 lakh gold coins . Kaoustheya are believed Raghu. Here, Raghu was puzzled as 10 lakh gold coins was a big amount and none other than Kubera would be having it. there was no chance that Kuber would give him those coins on his request so he decided to have a war with him finally he approached with his Army to kubera's Kingdom.

Kuber had many spies around his country and boundaries, in no time he got an information that you had come down with his Army near the boundary of his country to attack him. he also came to know that the war was it is that of his wish to help Kaustheya. Kuber new Raghu was a very good Warrior and had a good Army if at all they have a war he would have lost. hence he decided to help Raghu with 10 lakh gold coins Raghu was resting under a Shami tree, Kuber with a magic spell around on the Shami tree made the leaves of gold. When you woke up in the morning he saw the tree of gold he understood that was Kubera who has tried to help him and now there was no reason for war Raghu happily asked his Army to collect 10 lakh gold coins from the Shami tree.

let me tell you Shami Tree at a very important role in the history of our culture remember when Pandavas went for agyatvas they had hide all their weapons on the Shami tree. Raghu handed over 10 lakh gold coins to Kaustheya. Costa was happy he received the 10 lakh gold coins and gave his Guru Dakshina to his teacher.

The Guru accepted the Guru Dakshina and blessed Kaustheya for good life and prosperity. he distributed the gold coins among the poor and needy. this is the same day that we celebrate as Dussehra where we distribute gold and considered very auspicious on this day one who cannot donate actual gold donates leaves as gold. letter on the same day Rama is believed to have defeated Ravana and the 10th day of this month came to be known as Vijaya Dashmi today people all over the country celebrate Vijaya Dashmi on this day the tree leaves are kept in a box and distributed to friends and relatives people touching the feet of their elders and say please accept this leaves and bless us so that we prosper in our lives

Oh!! Womaniya

Dear friends,

Today's topic of my blog is my book, Oh!! Womaniya.

By now you all must be aware that I have recently published  book on amazon. Talking about the subject of book, please do not go by the name, as its not about a women but the different phases of women's life. We have same few phases applicable to men also. 

The book revolves around those phases and how women deals with them. It is a story we all have been through, still it's different for all. It's about the people around us like parents, husband, children, friends and lost women. 

The book acts as an entertainer and guide.It helps you look at life.No were you will feel sad about being a women intact you will be celebrating  the womanhood. 

It is not only for women but it also helps men to understand the women. The stories mentioned  come so easy that you can relate to them.

The book is based on all true stories. While we talk about today's women we also peep into the historical characters. 

The book is published on amazon and has good response so far. Apart from India it is published in various countries in both hard copy that is papaerback  and e-book format. We will soon be having the hard-copy in India considering the fact that we all still love holding the book in hand to read rather than going the e-way ( I am one of them) 

https://www.amazon.in/dp/B08G4MQ9K1/ref=cm_sw_r_wa_apa_dw8oFbT9T6TMH

I am also happy to announce the sequel to be published may be in next month. Thank you so much for all your love and response to my first book and I hope I get more of your eyes to read my stories. 

Thank you

ओ वुमनिया

आजचा विषय आहे माझं पुस्तक एव्हाना तुम्हाला सगळ्यांना कळलं असेल की मी एक पुस्तक प्रकाशित केलं आहे.

करोना काळामध्ये सर्वोत्तम उपाय होता तो ई बुक्स चा कारण लॉक डाऊन मुळे  लोकं वस्तूंना हात लावायला वस्तू मागवायला घाबरत होते. मग विचार केला की चला इ बुक पब्लिष करुयात ,कारण लोकं डाऊन मुळे मोबाईलचा जास्त उपयोग  करत आहेत .त्यामुळे त्यांना काही अडचण येणार नाही ई-बुक वाचण्यात.

 आता पुस्तकाबद्दल बोलूयात पुस्तकाचं नाव ओ वुमनिया. नावावरूनच  अंदाज येतो याचा विषय स्त्री हा असावा.    पण याचा विषय स्त्री नसून स्त्रीच्या  आयुष्यातील वेगवेगळ्या टप्पे आणि तिला आलेले त्यातले अनुभव  असा आहे.

 आता हे अनुभव म्हणजे सगळे अनुभव, यात चांगले आणि वाईट. तिनं तिच्या आयुष्यात बजावलेल्या वेगवेगळ्या भूमिका जसे की आई बहीण मुलगी मैत्रीण, व्यवसाय करणारी स्त्री आणि तिची तारेवरची कसरत आणि महत्त्वाचं म्हणजे हे सगळे नमूद केलेले अनुभव हे खरे असून तुमच्या माझ्या आयुष्यात घडले आहेत. पण पुस्तकात मांडताना ते एका वेगळ्या पद्धतीने मांडले गेले त्याच्यामुळे आपला त्याच्याकडे बघण्याचा दृष्टीकोण  बदलतो.

गरीब असो वा श्रीमंत हुशार असो वा मठ्ठ व्यावसायिक असो किंवा घरी बसणारी आई असो एका पातळीवर आल्यानंतर आपण सगळे सारख्याच असतो मग अगदी एखाद्या व्यावसायिक असो किंवा घरामध्ये धुणीभांडी करणारी बाई असो तिच्या मनात येणारी ती अपराधाची भावना सारखेच असते.

 कुठल्याही स्त्रीचा आयुष्य तिच्या आई-वडिलांशिवाय तिच्या नवऱ्या शिवाय, मुलांशिवाय भावा बहिणी शिवाय  अपूर्ण असतं. म्हणून या पुस्तकामध्ये तिच्या कर्तुत्वान नवरा,कायम पाठीशी उभे राहणारे वडील आई कुठे काय करते असा म्हणणारी मुलं आणि एकमेकांची समजूत काढणाऱ्या मैत्रिणी सगळ्यांचा उल्लेख आहे.

महत्त्वाचं म्हणजे हे पुस्तक वाचल्यानंतर तुम्हाला कुठेही  स्त्री ही अबला आहे अशी भावना न येता आयुष्य कसं मजेशीर जगते याचा अनुभव येतो.

 या पुस्तकामध्ये जिथे आपण आजच्या तारेवरची कसरत करणाऱ्या व्यवसायिक  महिलेची गोष्ट वाचतो तिथेच आपण काही ऐतिहासिक  चारित्र्यावर सुद्धा चर्चा करतो. आपण तिच्या आईपणा विषयी  बोलतो तिच्या कर्तृत्वाविषयी बोलतो, तिला अनाहुतपणे येणाऱ्या अपराधी भावनेने बद्दल बोलतो.

महत्त्वाचं म्हणजे या पुस्तकात चर्चा केलेल्या विषयामुळे फक्त स्त्रियांनाच नाही तर पुरुषांनाही स्त्रीच्या मनाचा थोडासा अंदाज घेता येईल. कुठेतरी जेव्हा ती नाही म्हणते त्याचा अर्थ हो कसा असतो हे कदाचित पुरुषांना कळायला मदत होईल.

तिच्या आयुष्यात सगळे वाईट अनुभव येतात का काही काही अतिशय मजेशीर अनुभव तेही सत्य घटनांवर आधारित याच्या मध्ये नमूद करण्यात आलेले आहेत.

ओ वुमनिया चे पुस्तक ॲमेझॉन वर  उपलब्ध आहे. भारताबरोबर बाकी अन्य देशांमध्ये सुद्धा आहे उपलब्ध आहे.  पर्यावरणाचा मुद्दा लक्षात घेता मला ई-बुक प्रकाशित करणे जास्त योग्य वाटलं. पण आजही बऱ्याच लोकांना पुस्तक हातात घेऊन वाचल्याशिवाय वाचण्याची मजा येत नाही (मी ही त्यांच्यातील एक ), हे कळाल्यानंतर मी त्याच्या प्रिंट प्रति सुद्धा काढणार आहे.

 हा माझा पहिला प्रयत्न असून आपण हे वाचावे अशी आपल्याला नम्र विनंती. आणि पुस्तक वाचलं तर आपला अभिप्राय ऐकायला मला नक्कीच आवडेल.

 हे पुस्तक 18 तारखेला प्रकाशित झाला असून  पंधरा दिवसांमध्ये मला तुमचा खूप छान प्रतिसाद मिळाला आहे. वाचकांचा अभिप्राय आपल्याला ॲमेझॉन आणि किंडल वर पाहायला मिळतील.  

 भारताबाहेर देखील या पुस्तकाच्या दोन्ही म्हणजे प्रिंट आणि ई-बुक ला खूप छान प्रतिसाद आहे याचबरोबर खूप वाचकांनी मला याच्या मराठी अनुवादाची देखील मागणी केलेली आहे त्याच्यावर मी नक्की विचार करेन.

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याचबरोबर मला हेही तुम्हाला कळविण्यात अत्यंत आनंद होतो की या पुस्तकाचा सिक्वेल लवकरच म्हणजे पुढच्या महिन्यात प्रकाशित होईल. आपण दिलेल्या प्रतिसादाबद्दल मी आपली खूप आभारी आहे आशा करते की असाच प्रतिसाद मला माझ्या पुढच्या वाटचाली मध्ये सुद्धा लाभ होईल .

धन्यवाद

अनंतचतुर्दशी

उद्या अनंतचतुर्दशी 

आपला गणपती बाप्पा जाणार यावर्षीचा गणेशोत्सव दरवर्षीपेक्षा थोडासा वेगळा होता. उत्साह तोच होता,तीच रांगोळी,तेच हार फुले दुर्वा, तीच आरती आणि तोच  जय जय कार पण या साऱ्या बरोबर होतं ते एक अनामिक भय.

तसं अनामिक म्हणता येणार नाही कारण आपल्याला त्याचं नाव माहितीये - करोना. हे दहा दिवस गणपती आपल्या घरी येतो घरात एक वेगळीच  चहल पहल असते, सारे कुटुंबीय एकत्र येतात. अजूनही काही घरांमध्ये, मोठ्या घरात गणपती बसतो त्यामुळे जावा नंदा आजी-आजोबा सगळे एकत्र येतात.

यावर्षीचा गणेशोत्सव थोडासा सुनासुना गेला. कोणालाही घरी दर्शनाकरता बोलावता नाही आल, आणि कोणाच्याही घरी जातानाही आलं सोसायटीच्या गणपतीचे मंडळात सुद्धा शुकशुकाट होता. ओळखीचे चेहरे सुद्धा मास्क मागे लपलेले होते. सोसायटीचा गणेशोत्सव सुधा घरगुती पद्धतीने साजरा झाला यावर्षी. पण गणपती बाप्पा मात्र ऑन ड्युटी आहे तो त्याच्या वेळेवर आला आणि मला खात्री आहे प्रत्येकाने त्याला एकच मागणं मागितलं असणारे. एकच साकडे घातले असणारे

 सोसायटीच्या गणपतीचे विसर्जन सोसायटीच्या आवारामध्ये झाले यावर्षी त्याच्यामुळे काही धामधूम नाही काही सांस्कृतिक कार्यक्रम नाहीत काळी लगबग नाही. सगळे अगदी शांत होते मध्ये आणि एका हाताच्या अंतरावरच करण्यात आलं सोशल डिस्टंसिंग.

 पण गणपती बाप्पाचा येण्यानं कुठेतरी करोना चा विसर पडला. हार फुले दुर्वा आणि कापुराच्या सुवासा मध्ये हा करोना नष्ट झाला असावा का ?

वातावरण मंगलमय झाले, आणि गणपती बाप्पा निघाले सुद्धा.

तिकडे दुसरीकडे माझ्या मुलींन गणपती बाप्पा बरोबर पूर्ण दहा दिवस गप्पा  मारल्या. तिच्या हट्टाखातर यावर्षी आम्ही बालगणेश आणला. आज त्याला हात जोडून प्रार्थना करत होती तू जाऊ नकोस मी तुला माझी सगळी खेळणी देते इकडेच राहा माझ्याकडे.

यावर्षी एक गोष्ट मात्र निदर्शनास आली ती म्हणजे मूर्तिकारांच्या मनातील भय कुठेतरी गणपतीचे चेहऱ्यावर दिसत होतं. गणपती बाप्पाला सुद्धा काळजी वाटत होती, त्याच्या डोळ्यांमध्ये एक काळजीचे सावट दिसत होतं.  जणू तोही म्हणत होता की हे मनुष्यI काय करून  बसला आहेस तू. मला वाटत होतं या जगात निर्माण केलेल्या  प्राण्यांमध्ये तू सगळ्यात हुशार प्राणी आहेस. पण  तुझ्या हुशारीचा अतिरेक झाला आणि तु तुझ्याच विरोधी वापरली.

आलेल्या अनुभवातून शहाणा हो ,तुझ्या चुका सुधार. प्रदूषण आटोक्यात आणण्याचा प्रयत्न कर. कुठल्याही गोष्टीचा अतिरेक करू नकोस. नाहीतर पुन्हा एकदा निसर्गाला पुढे येऊन स्वतः स्वतःची काळजी घ्यावी लागेल, आणि तुला मात्र घरात बसावं लागेल.

यावर्षी नसेल जमलं तर पुढच्या वर्षी माझे मातीची मूर्ती आण आणि तिचं घरीच विसर्जन कर.

 सगळ्यात बुद्धिमान आणि हुशार म्हणून तू राजा आहेस जगाचा बाकी प्राण्यांची काळजी घे. निसर्गाला आटोक्यात आणण्याचा प्रयत्न करू नकोस.

चौदा विद्या आणि चौसष्ठ कलांचा अधिपती असूनही गणपती बाप्पाला त्याच्या अहंकार नाहीये पण मनुष्य मात्र त्यातल्या कला अवगत करून, पृथ्वीवर राज्य करू इच्छितो, निसर्गावर राज्य करू इच्छितो. जेवढा निसर्गावर आपला हक्क आहे तेवढाच बाकी प्राण्यांचा सुद्धा आहे. त्यांना जगु द्या नाहितर पुन्हा एकदा आपण घराचा पिंजरा धडकणार आणि ते मात्र मुक्त बाहेर फिरणार.

आपल्या पिढीला हा अनुभव आला तो आपल्या पुढच्या पिढ्यांना येऊ नये हीच गणेश चरणी प्रार्थना. पुढच्या वर्षी हा सण आपण  उत्साहात जल्लोषात साजरा करूयात.

 जाहले भजन आम्ही नमितो तव चरणा 

आम्ही नमितो तव चरणा 

 वारुनिया विघ्ने 

देवा रक्षावे दिन हो

 गणपती बाप्पा मोरया पुढच्या वर्षी लवकर या

संकल्प

आपण अनेकदा पूजेच्यावेळी प्रामुख्याने गणपतीत कापसाचे पवते (वस्त्र) घालतो. पूजेनंतर ते निर्माल्यात टाकतो. असे न करता हे वस्त्र तुमच्या घरा जवळील झाडाला,  गॅलरीत ( ते भिजणार नाही याची काळजी घेत) अडकवून ठेवा.

 या वस्त्रांचा कापूस,  पक्षी घरटे बांधताना घेऊन जातात. आपले घरटे मऊशार आणि उबदार करतात. असा प्रयोग  माझ्या मित्रांनी केला आहे. निसर्गाने दिलेले निसर्गालाच परत करायचे. पक्षी तुम्हाला  निश्चितच धन्यवाद देतील, अशी मला खात्री आहे.

Bappa's teachings

You all must be aware of the story as to how did Bappa get the elephant head. Shiv Ji must have really thought and gave him the elephant head as the elephant is one of the strongest animals with many qualities. The elephant is one of the brilliant animals, he has a good memory and gives a sort of security to all animals around. Even the tiger feels secured if the elephant is around. The elephant walks long distance and his presence make animals feel that there is a lot of lands or say forest for animals to live in.

Ganesha accepted the elephant's head from his father Shiva. He accepted his being different from others and converted it into his uniqueness. Can we learn this from Lord Ganesha?

To get success in any work we need to start it with confidence, use our skills and knowledge. Along with this we also require courage to overcome the hurdles in our way. We slow down when it comes to our weaknesses. As soon as we realize our shortcomings we step back and are unable to face the challenge. We try and run away from them instead of focusing on our inabilities. 

One should always keep in mind that we all are different and possess different abilities in different skills. We admire the skills and abilities in others but at the same time, we fail when it comes to self. We are enabled to recognize and express our own formidable potential.

Bappa is the best leader known to us. Let us see how Bappa looks, he has a pot-bellied body and face of an elephant. A person in real will definitely face an inferiority complex in this six-pack world. Here Bappa teaches us to ACCEPT ourselves. He also passes a message that your being different from others is being unique.

The face of the elephant is the symbol of LEADERSHIP. The leader is one who takes care of the entire team by protecting them. This big head inspires us reminding our potential and strengthens us. He is the best icon for the gigantic personality.

His big or say huge ears teaches us to LISTEN. Elephant keeps his ears moving, here it signifies that moving ears keeps his head cool. The leader can not be hot-headed and hence the big ears thou listen to the minute's things, still keep calm.

His big trunk if you see joins from his forehead,mastak.He has than smelling power to a far distance about the happening around- "DURDARSHITA". It is connected to his brain so he connects his long vision with his brain and teaches us to act accordingly.

His tusk-the broken one reminds us not to take UNBIASED DECISION based on personal likes,  dislikes, and prejudice. It teaches us to look equally at everything and anything.

His big ears teach us the ART OF LISTENING we hear many things all around from people, Newport, media, WATS app and much more. he teaches us to. Listen but he also teaches us to give away the unimportant things by his 'sup' like ears.

His eyes are small but they indicate ATTENTION TO DETAIL even the minute things. It gives perfection in your work if you pay attention  to minute details. 

Let us not shy away from the what we consider as our drawback or awkwardness in ourselves, Accept your self to pioneer in your field. We can make a difference because we are different. From these wonderful traits of Ganesha let us learn to accept ourselves, express ourselves in our unique way as no one else can. Invoke the confidence and self-acceptance.

Remain motivated and be enthusiastic, regardless of what you consider a disability, we all possess an innate power to make our self exceptionally abled.

Itna Sanatta kyun hain

Ganpati Bappa Morya - It was a busy day. Ganapati Bappa arrived today. Ganesh Utsav is one of the favourite celebrations of all aged groups irrespective of their religion. It is all about decoration, yummy modaks and laddus, fresh flowers, torans, rangoli, and lots of happiness around. Most enjoyable is the aarti time, when everybody oldies, as well as the kids, enjoy saying it, artharvashirsha and jayjaykaar.  

We were rushing doing preparations for a few weeks.  Ten days go busy with delicacies and compliments. The decoration concepts and ideas. Every year all ten days go busy and are surrounded by friends and relatives. We haven't invited any guests this year for Ganesh darshan.

Of course, there will be modaks but no visitors to taste. There will be decoration, aarti but no crowd around. This year it is not going to be louder as it is every year. It will be a bit simple but with the same spirit. Even the Ganpati at home is going to be simple than every year.

I guess Ganpati Bappa must also be feeling lonely saying to himself "Itna Sannata Kyun hain" but will agree on the government norms this year and give his darshan online.

The government gave guidelines for celebration this year. Many big mandals took a step forward for supporting the government’s decision. Some planned social activities instead of the big mandal followed by the crowd to celebrate and take Ganapati Bappa's blessings.

In metro cities, these festivals bring a lot of market movement and options for people to earn. For some, this is the only annual time to earn, like the Idol makers. This year many people have taken initiative to make their own eco-friendly idols. Workshops were taken and a lot of artists have learned the art of making idols.  Idol makers are sad due to a drop in the sale and prices. Next year onwards there would be only eco-friendly idols available in the market as well.

Thou markets were open the business has definitely suffered. People have compromised on the nonavailability of needful things for Ganesh puja. The prominent mandals have encouraged people to avoid visiting the pandals and opted for the online darshan.No matter how big the idol is every year,  this time everybody has agreed on idols not more than four feet and that too eco friendly. 

There are many options for eco-friendly Ganpati like tree Ganpati, red and black soil with natural colors. People have also opted for metal, the permanent idol which would be kept every year. Even many keep chocolate idol and further distribute the chocolates and sweets in an orphanage or children.

Its first time in 86 years that there will be no Lalbaug cha raja, instead they have taken up the blood and plasma donation drive. A similar initiative has been taken by Girgaon cha raja and Andheri cha raja as well.

Many did not travel to their home town and are not part of the celebrations. Things are different than they were ever, but will be soon as they need to be. 

The government has given good and clear instructions about the height of idol not more than four feet, no processions, artificial 70 immersion ponds made available in Mumbai. Not more than five karyakartas in pandals, ten during aarti, pandals to be sanitized thrice a day.NO prasad, no garlands, No flowers at the immersion ponds.

Thou it is an irony that the festival celebrated to bring people together stands to do exactly opposite today. It is a national emergency and we all should collectively contribute to being a responsible citizen so that next year we celebrate more natural and with high spirit.

May Ganpati bappa bless all of us with health and prosperity.

What your ISF

Saving a penny is earning a penny- Sudha Murthy,

It is always learning to hear Sudha Murthy. During one of the interviews, she mentioned her mother was having only seven sarees. After her death, it took only half an hour to collect her stuff.

She herself is also of opinion that one should not buy more stuff may it be anything. She does not enjoy shopping and believes in having less and is still content. The opposite is Mr. Murty who thinks buying things is very important for the circulation of money. It gives speed to the market.

This thought provoked me to think about how we shop against our needs. The supermarket and mall culture has ruined our lives. The supermarkets were designed to have all the needs under one roof. But as always we forget the idea behind the concept and run around something else.

Earlier it used to be just a grocery store you go to the store ask for things the person hands over it to you and you pay him. Now the picture has changed. You visit the store its grand store and you see everything around much more than you need and expect. You forget the things on your list and the wonderful marketing skills do their job.

Earlier needs were less and there were separate outlets for different things like the grocery store, stationery, Garments, Kitchen needs, electronics, etc. We used to visit them need-based. Today if you go for buying grocery you end up visiting all the floors of the supermarket and buy everything that fascinates you, rather than looking at the shopping list that you have. I wonder if everybody makes a shopping list when they are going to market. Visiting supermarket costs more than two to three thousand in once visit.

You see offers and tend to save money on something you do not need. Buy 1 get 1 wow! what an offer let me buy it. I will save money.

Wait for a minute and think do you need it? I have often seen people grabbing everything they get in an offered time.

I have always heard my father saying he had a few clothes to wear at his young age. His wardrobe included all these things of daily use against mine. I have special almari for clothes only. He mentioned they use to shop once in a year and he and my uncle would buy cloth of five meters to stitch a shirt to both of them, Similarly they stiched their pants too. And that's the reason I see most of them in identical dresses at their young age in the family album.

Even when I was small in primary school my mummy use to stitch me and my elder sister dresses out of her sarees. Even the 'Kalpana saree'  was saree stitched for kids out of a single saree. I have those identical dree pics with me. I still adore those dresses, they hold a special place in my cupboard, unlike the dresses I have bought after them.

Now we don't want anyone to wear a similar pattern like us, so the same dresses are out of the question.

I have seen the generation's shopping from the grocery stores to the supermarkets. The value of money changing with needs.

The moral of the story is I have finally made up my mind to stop shopping for a while. Due to lockdown, I did not buy any new dress for four months and that feeling is going good with me. I want to resist shopping for the next few months.

I STAND FOR NO SHOPPING OF DRESSES OR SAREES for the next two more months. I will stretch it till December.

I stand for is a concept you can use in your life anywhere, where you wish to stop yourself, control or encourage. Like ISF not having Nonveg food for the next one month was ISF we took a month ago and its a great feeling being fulfilled. That's a good way of treating your health too may be by ISF for fried food, ISF for reading books, ISF for a daily workout.

It is like having small defined goals. School Children can have an ISF of studying more than an hour every day. Making a new friend every week, learning a new word every day

When Lockdown started we had taken an ISF not visiting Grocery stores for a month, till we actually finished the grocery that we have stored and we were successful finishing up the food stored to much extent.

Its a feeling of accomplishment and gives an encouraging and positive impact. Try it whats your ISF?

Digital diet

A new term I came across today, digital diet...sounds wow. When I actually read about it realized it is a concept I have known long back. I learned this concept some years back in training. We were told to act to spend a day without a gadget.

It was an amazing experience, the participants unfolded the day into a learning experience. We all collectively decided to spend a day without any gadgets. Some of us even went around alone, to unknown places without gadgets. Of course, the precaution was taken to keep families informed about it. It is the reason for panic and worries for families when we are not able to reach anyone on phones. Another thing that was carrying laptops was also avoided. The Internet was left alone to explore that day. No application assistance and no google maps.

While we traveled in a group, some participants traveled all alone without google maps. It was just about the feeling and the intuition. As a group activity, we could talk to each other share thoughts and decide, or say could take decisions, but those who traveled alone went thru a tough task.

I here would share the story of a participant who traveled alone. This friend of mine started from the Bus stand in Pune where he got into a bus to a place where he had never been to. As there was no plan, no google search for places to be visited around or information about it. he got down in a small village. not very crowded, hardly built bus stop. Could not see any shops or vehicles passing by.

He reached a small roadside Dhaba types opening and had some snacks. He asked the waiter about the specialty of that place and visited some for nature's feel.

It was of course a village. The air was so pure and he could smell the freshness in the air. The birds were free to move and enjoy their fly, unlike in cities with the wires and towers around. He walked to long-distance all alone in search of something he dint knew. On the way, he got a bullock cart ride. After years he got the ride, which was free of cost and gave him that filmy feel of sitting in bullock carts. We have almost forgotten that the ride was part of many people's real-life still.  he enjoyed the nature, the birds, animals, the different trees around, and the greenery.

He had time with himself and the abundance in nature. He could have lunch under a tree with some travelers like him. He shared food with them. Further, he enquired about the staying facility for a night. It was a small village and was a difficult to have a guest house facility. Finally, an old lady asked him to use her veranda for that night.

After years he lied below the stars and enjoyed the natural breeze and cold in the village. He couldn't recall when he fall asleep. He got up the way early then he normally did, with the sun's rays on him. That was a great gesture to have the sun woke him up, with an energy boost.

The old lady offered him tea -special jaggery tea, typically in small villages and some breakfast. While he was leaving he offered some money to her for the stay, to which she refused and asked him to visit again.

He inquired about the nearby place to visit, Whole day he wandered and finally by the end of the day manage to get a bus back to Pune.

This experience was so energizing for us to hear that we planned to do the activity solely.

During all this 24 hours journey he actually didn't even realize they need for a phone, laptops, refrigerator, AC, internet, and everything we use in day to day life. He even did not need his credit card.

The good area, pleasant, and natural experience of life, how it has to be lived.

It was almost digital detoxification, Go for a digital diet, give rest to your connectivity, and have a gadget-free life for some hours or a day to get the realization of real life to live.

You will get time to get back to your hobbies, spend time with loved ones, family members. You will get time for a workout, having meals together, sharing experiences, entertainment, writing poems.

Due to recent lock down the use of gadgets had increased and its time to slow down and give them rest.

A digital diet is, of course, beneficial but making the right use of the time that you have got is also important, you can start with better planning of it. Like the limited use of apps, we have settings in smartphones to limit the use of apps. You can silent the notifications. Use the DND modes.

Disconnect to connect

Let's try it for some hours, maybe half a day, and then the real diet for one entire day. Imagine day and practice day 

Urmila-the lost character in Ramayana

Urmila - Laxmana's wife, remember. She is like the unsung hero. It is ironic that she is lost in the epic. If you read or see her story carefully you will see that she displays greater strength and patience than any other woman in the epic. 

She was the reincarnation of goddess Naga Laxmi and Sita's younger sister. When Laxmana decides to join his elder brother and sister in law to exile, Urmila is left alone for fourteen years. She also wishes to join them but for the greater good Laxmana asks her to stay back. Laxmana asks her to take care of his parent, his house, and to which she agrees and stays back. 

Urmila was newly married then and of course she must have dreamed of staying with her husband and serving him. When Kausalya Ram's mother wanted to join Rama for exile, Rama made her understand that her first duty was to be with her husband and serve him, as he was broken down due to Ram's decision to going for exile.

The same logic applies to Urmila, she is nowhere considered or discussed in Ramayana. As a result, she seems to be a silent sufferer but still seems to be strong who manages to live alone without her husband for fourteen long years.

Here Laxmana always stood guarding his elder brother Ram, Especially when he slept at night.  In exile when Laxmana has to guard his brother he asks the goddess of sleep Nidra Devi to not bless him as he has a duty to perform. In that case Nidra Devi suggests that she will have to go to someone instead of him, hence Laxmana sends her to Urmila. The goddess of sleep Nidra Devi visits Urmila Instead of him so that he can do his duty. Here it is believed that Urmila slept all fourteen years

Now the question is if  Urmila slept for fourteen years what about her duty towards her in-laws and her house? Which she promised her husband Laxmana to take care of in his absence?

Urmila was given a special power by Sita when she left for exile. She was empowered to be at three places at one time, hence she could sleep and perform her duties as well.

It is believed, having no sleep during exile days helped  Laxmana killed Meghnaad, Ravana's son. 

Here Urmila lost all fourteen years of her life sleeping, one instantly feel sorry for her. We feel bad for her life without her husband for fourteen long years. Still, it does not make her weak.

She took some decisions for the betterment that doesn't make her weak or invisible in the story. We see idols of Rama Sita And Laxmana in many temples, alas! Urmila's sacrifice has no place, but let us not forget there is always a woman behind Man's success. 

 

No time for Quarrel

I have reached a stage where quarrelling doesn’t make sense. After years of staying together, we have accepted each other with differences. Even we appreciate the differences as both having the same views may not make sense and block our inventions and findings.

Earlier surrounded by elders and now having a little addition going around within our orbits makes it more difficult to quarrel. When you live in joint family quarrels have no option than giving the silent treatment. Things sound and are watched to be normal. I remember my MIL once complimented me saying its three years but I haven’t heard you people ever quarrelling. You are left with many things in mind when you have in-laws, husband and kids around.

You do not have the option than swallowing your pride and continuing your work and talking to each other even after differences.

Kids may also try to be your parent saying “It’s OK Mumma, Papa you should not say this, or just don’t fight to be friends etc.  This is one of the reasons that you need to ignore or choose the right way of interaction when you are quarrelling. Your words form a big impact on the child mind.

No, the matter you are working, or stay at home mom, the fact is we being women one needs to speak it out or say vent it out.

Few techniques that really help in such a situation are

Writing it down all and messaging to your husband if he is one who can read and understand. You may feel that saying everything doesn’t make sense, but still, it is essential for us to speak out. Rather than quarrelling after a long tiresome day especially when after commuting there is no energy left. But piling up thoughts is painful and not good for mental health.

It is easy to process your emotions when you actually write it down, so you can write it down, or type it and can also send across, because not only writing every time may help. It is also important to convey their feelings to understand the issues and address them as a couple. Many women chose to send messages and convey their thoughts, not bad-Isn’t it? But it is always better to sit across the table and discuss.

Find out time to fight

Lack of communication is a result of lack of intimacy, lack of trust are common problems with couples. It doesn’t matter you are newly married, together for years, the problems and solutions are almost the same for all. More often monotony takes over which makes the partner feels distant and detached.

It is important for the overworked couple's confrontation, resolving conflict and

Keeping the romance alive.

Addressing the conflicts is imperative but mind how you can actually address the subjects. The blame game is where the confrontation begins. Labelling or accusing partner makes them defensive, and it is an automatic response to an attack by a human being.

Try using I instead of you Like I am feeling uncomfortable instead of you make me feel uncomfortable.

It is important to understand what is causing problem-Unrealistic expectations, ego, blame or something else?

None of you are mind reader ask some question to yourself like What disappoints me? What is that we fight over? What makes me feel connected with a partner? How do we both change our communication? Answering such questions will help step back and understand the relationship as to where it stands.

Best way to deal with the fight is to have none and keep the romance alive is the next best thing.

There are ways to make your partner feel loved. Communication is not verbally but physical touch is also important, I do not mean getting intimate only, it’s an unexpected hug, a peck on the cheek, just holding hand at times can be the best communication and this will definitely be impactful. Locking eyes in a crowd or just giving nods to each other can be communication. All this action releases oxytocin which makes you feel happier.

The five languages of love you can try are Words of affirmation, acts of service,

Physical touch, Gifts. Start with discussing these things and start from here to be on the same page.